Friday, February 29, 2008

Lesbian!

My dumb polls aren't working!  It keeps telling me "internal service error".  I tried troubleshooting, but there wasn't anything about public polls there.  Then I went to this website it gave me that told me about everything I could do with polls, so that pretty much redefined unhelpful.  This is where I usually yell "lesbian" and feel a lot better!  =)

BL Quote

Alan: Why does Shirley get to skip the staff meetings?

Paul: She's got a trial in New York later this week, so she has a busy day.

Brad: Some of us have trials tody, so if you don't mind, I'd like to cut out.

Lori: What's your case about Brad?

Alan: What is it about?

Brad: It involves interference with contractual relations.

Alan: You mean lesbians?

Paul: Where are you?

Brad: Today they're calling Tracy to testify that her ex-lover was -

Alan: Lesbian ex-lover.

Brad: - to testify that Tracy was scamming her for money.  Tracy was in fact not an actual bona fide...

Alan: Lesbian?

Brad: You like saying it?

Alan: I do.

Brad: Say it again.

Alan: Lesbian.

Brad: Keep going.

Alan: LESBIAN!  LESBIAN! Lezzzz-beeee-uunnn.  All together now!

All: Lesbian!

Alan: I also like to watch.  How many people like to -

Paul: All right, that's enough, this is a staff meeting.  I'll ask you all to conduct yourselves appropriately and professionally.

Catherine: Cookies everone!  Nourishment is most important in the morning!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Orlando and Miranda

I found a picture of Orlando (Shoetopia Citizen's favorite) and one of his Australian, Buddhist, caterpillar-eyebrowed, Victoria's Secret model girlfriend (AKA Miranda Kerr).  According to Shoetopia Citizen, the only they have in common is Buddhism.  How pathetic!  I think their names have a nice ring together, too - "Orlando and Miranda".  Though having eyebrows in common would make so much more sense! 

See the BL Quote for Denny's perspective on religion.  He doesn't have any philosophies on eyebrows.  Sorry Shoetopia Citizen!

BL Quote -

Denny: You hear the one about the fella who died?  Went to the Pearly Gates and St. Peter let him in.  Sees a guy in a suit making a closing arguement and syas, "Who's that?"  St. Peter says, "Ooohh, that's God.  Thinks he's Denny Crane!"

BAS -

Don't forget about the Poetry Final on Tuesday!  I haven't made it yet, but I will this weekend.  I do know that it'll be worth 174 points (3/4 of the Poetry Unit and 9/40 of your total Literature grade)!  Don't come unprepared; I'd reread the poems, biographies, and notes (including vocab).

Here are the current percentages (by initials):

Average - 85.66%

MG - 96.49%

OH - 78.60%

LJ - 71.23%

KL - 95.09%

MeM - 96.84% (watch out; only leading by 1 point!)

MaM - 78.60

AM - 82.77

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Democratic Debates

The Democratic debates were lovely last night!  Hillary got her butt kicked by Obama, even with that gorgeous (ha, ha... not) tanning spray-botax combo she applied five minutes before appearing.  You don't get much more fun than watching that!  I have to mention the two most memorable moments.

Firstly was when Senator-upon-the-credit-of-my-adulturous-husband's-terms-as-president Clinton (yes, she's the only person ever to fill that position) exploded at the questioners for asking her all the questions first.  Sorry lady, but in politics being a woman, even an androgynous one like she is, isn't an excuse to be treated better!  They aren't going to ask the guy all the questions first just because he has more hardware than you do - honestly!

The second notable moment was when divulging his past, Obama prefered the term "community organizer" over "slumlord".  Ha, ha... I loved it!  He'd make a decent Republican.  Well pretty much any Republican looks more Conservative if you compare them to McCain, but whatever.

This is totally random, but Hillary and McCain would be a cute couple, not to mention admirable.  I mean, they know so much about American politics!  I just wish I could ask them whether someone taught them that, or if they were there when the Constitution was written - just curious!  =)

"If only I could get over my Liberal constipation, I might just be able to pretend I'm a Republican a little bit better!"

BL Quote

Phyliss: I had a hard time trying to find you.  I called Cruthers, Abbott...

Alan: Oh, I was fired.  Embezzlement.

Phyliss: Then I tried Young, Frutt, and Berultti.

Alan: Oh, yes. That ended badly.

Phyliss: And here you are at Crane, Poole, and Schmidt.

Alan: For now.

Smart Tip

The best way to clean spilled Coke off a desk is to lick it up.  Why waste your time going to the bathroom, getting a towel, coming back, cleaning up the spilled pop, taking the towel back to the bathroom, and then returning to the desk when you could just fix it in like 2 seconds?

ABS

BE THERE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There are four quizzes, a test, and an important review to be done!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Obama Leads

In the news, Obama is beating Clinton 2:1 among Democrats and Democratic-leaning Independents.  Among Democrats, Obama has charged into a double-digit lead over Clinton, 51%/39%.  This is the first time he's topped 50%!  Looks like America's safe for now from another Clintonian catastrophe.

But now the question has come up whether or not Obama is "qualified" to be president.  Just look at him compared to Hillary; he's never supported a war, and then changed his policies about it to help his campaign.  How about compared to Bush (Jr.)?  Obama wasn't head cheerleader at his high school, so how on earth could he ever be qualified for the presidency?

I was happy to read that electability trumped being qualified for becoming an American president.  Obama really does have a lot of insight into the lesser-known sides of the United States, though.  He lived among the Chicago slumlords for years (doesn't that make him Republican?) and has a thorough knowledge of Islam.  I never realized how we could go to war with something without understanding it.  How do we intend to fight radical Muslims if we don't know what they're about?  That's just stupid.

Denny on the Presidential Candidates and Their Policies

Denny: I might vote for him, you know.

Alan: [surprised] Obama?

Denny: Anybody in America can grow up to be president, that's what I say.  Except for Hillary!  She wins, I puke.

Alan: Barack Obama?

Denny: Handsome, great photo op.  I don't know what he stands for... He'd be a perfect president!  Speaks perfect "white" as well as "black".  Never heard me say that.

Alan: What about McCain?

Denny: He speaks "Bush" now.  Can't win.

Alan: Obama's against the war now, you know.

Denny: So am I.  [Alan looks questioningly] Don't worry.  I'm ready for a new war.  Time to blow up Iran.  And we gotta get Amina... douchebag.  And that nut job in North Korea.  They both gotta go.  And not because they're not white!  You can't please everybody.  Better to just...

Alan: Blow them up.

Denny: Exactly.  And not because they're not white.

Indiana Weather Is Retarded

We should've learned from Anthony Wayne.  After defeating Bluejacket's Native Ameircan forces at the Battle of Fallen Timbers, the Treaty of Greenville was signed, opening the Northwest Territory up to settlers.  General Wayne stayed in Fort Wayne for one week, but decided the weather so bad he'd rather go home to Pennsylvania where his estranged family lived.  He ended up dying on the way home from some intestinal disease, but he'd much rather have fought a family feud than live in our crappy conditions.

Is it just me, or did we just have 40 degree weather this weekend?  Whatever.  I get the lovely opportunity shovel a butt-ton (also known as the Tigulis-Unit (TU for short)) of snow.  Oh well, I'm going to do my history outline for the quiz on Thursday (since it's been moved), get review stuff ready for SAB on Thursday, and read some more of Don't Know Much About the Bible.

BL Quote

Garrett: I want you out of my office!  I'm an attorney, I graduated top of my class at Suffolk University Law School, I passed the Bar Exam the very first try, AND I was recruited by the best firms.

Catherine: I killed a man.

Smart Tip

If your bored on your day off, make a leopard outfit to match Ms. Merriman's!  =)

Pleasurable, leopard-print visual -

ASB

We'll be having those four quizzes over the last four poems, the poetry terms test, and the review all on Thursday.  That means the Poetry Final is still planned for Tuesday, 3-4-08, a week from today.  You want to be there this Thursday!!!

Monday, February 25, 2008

(Almost) No Homework!!!

I was so happy!  I barely had any homework tonight, which is the first time in weeks.  All I had was to read Chapter 10 for Green.  I couldn't go to Tae Kwon Do, becuase my mom can't drive with her retina-tear recovery.  Jon can't drive because he had a lot of homework, and my dad was busy in the shop.

I've decided to make my posts more colorful, too!  =)

BL Quote:

Donny Crane: We're talking about emotions of the heart.

Denny: Objection.  Sounds like a girly man.

Donny Crane: [angrily] Move to strike!

Denny: That's better.

Smart Tips of the Day

Smart Tip #1: Don't mistakenly rest your feet on your desk when there's a bowl of hot sauce on it.

Smart Tip #2: If you fail in performing "Smart Tip #1", don't move your drenched jeans onto your socks and soak them, too.

...with a pleasurable visual!

 

ABS

As a bonus for those who are checking the site, here are the poetry terms you'll need to know for the test over them tomorrow:

~ Consonance

~ Onomatopoeia

~ Assonance (pronounced ass-nens according to Encarta) =]

~ Metaphor

~ Paradox

~ Concrete Poetry

~ Metonymy

~ Approximate Rhyme

~ Alliteration

~ Irony

~ Escapism

~ Oxymoron

~ Free Verse

~ Simile

~ Feminine Rhyme

~ Fatalism

~ Allusion

~ Internal Rhyme

~ Personification

~ Masculine Rhyme

~ Romanticism

~ Romance

~ Iambic Pentameter

And don't forget about the four quizzes over "O Captain! My Captain!", "Song of Myself", "Shiloh: A Requiem", and "The March to Virginia".  If we don't have school tomorrow, we'll have all this great stuff AND the review.  We need to stay on schedule, so we don't have extra days as there's been almost every other year under a certain maestra del inglés!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Don't Know Much About the Bible

I finished Don't Know Much About Geography and have started reading Don't Know Much About the Bible.  It's another awesome book by Kenneth C. Davis with interesting trivia such as:

~ Jericho's walls may have tumbled down because the city lies on a fault line.

~ Moses never parted the Red Sea.  (A mistranslation of "Sea of Reeds".)

~ There was a Jesus, but he wasn't born on Christmas and he probably wasn't an only child.

It also explains other rousing questions (as displayed on the back cover):

~ Why did God try to kill Moses?

~ How did a prostitute help destroy Jericho?

~ What's the difference between a disciple and an apostle?

I've been really enjoying it so far, as I have for all his other books!

(I realize I'm behind from yesterday) 2-23:

Alan: Shirley? (sighs) What about senior partners?  There would be nothing wrong with me... lusting, say, after you?  Would there?

Shirley: Go subscribe to National Geographic.  Make a list of the places you'll never get to visit.  Add to that list, Schmidt.

2-24:

Denny: You would agree, Mr. Mayor, that by and large, vegetarians are Communists?

Mayor George Bostwick: I certainly would not.

Denny: We're at war Mr. Bostwick.  Think we can win that war if we suddenly say to our soldiers, "No more meat"?  Think a nation of fish-easters can protect the world, you wimp?

Friday, February 22, 2008

Speaker

The speaker today was way too loud in my opinion.  He could be funny sometimes, but I think if people should be self-motivated.  If you have to rely on someone else to prompt you, that's pretty pathetic.  I thought the school could've put the money to better use.  I was talking with one of the other teachers about him, and they said he was expensive as speakers go.

I'm not sure I agreed with the things he said either.  People's opinions about you definately matter.  He can't honestly say they don't in something like a job application.  Not caring about others' opinions isn't the only way to be happy, either.  Some people are happy by being successful, myself included.  So anywho, this is my outlook on business and success -

Denny: Not everything is about money, Shirley.  Sometimes sex counts, too.  It used to count with you.  One minute you couldn't get enough of me, the next you lose interest.  What happened Shirley?  I need to know.

Shirley: They invented color television.

Denny: You and me.  In my office.  Gimme two minutes.

Shirley: If you could last three I might consider it.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

BL Quotes

For Tuesday's ASB meeting, have all poetry read, which includes biographies.  You can expect quizzes over "O Captain!  My Captain!", "Song of Myself", "Shiloh, a Requiem", "The March to Virginia", and poetry unit's literary terms.  Sorry to have five quizzes in one day, but that's just how it worked out in the scheme of things.  They are pretty short anyway.  The four over the poems are the normal five-question style.  Thursday will be a review day, and the final on poetry will be a week from this Tuesday.

I've decided to start doing a "quote-a-day" thing for Boston Legal!  They have too many good ones not to mention them!

Denny:  Lock and load.  Where is everybody?

Paul: This is an administrative meeting, Denny.

Denny: Oh!  Then what the hell am I doing here?

Shirley: Remember the good ol' days when you liked to know what was going on?  When you could go from your office to the elevator without a roadmap?

Denny: Didn't need a roadmap to find my way around your body, did I, Shirley?

Shirley: I wouldn't know.  I was usually asleep.

Denny: I once had her... and Streisand... at the same time.  Remember that?

Shirley: Hahhh!  I do Denny!  Ha, ha... and not to burst your bubble, but that was a male impersonator.  Perhaps the penis might have been your cue.

- "From Whence We Came" (1.12)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

ABS Lit.

For those who missed ASB we took the "Chambered Nautilus" Quiz and took notes on it.  We also read Stephen Crane's biography along with "War Is Kind", which we took notes on as well.  For Thursday, please have read Walt Whitman's biography.  There'll be a quiz on "War Is Kind", too.


Tags: ,

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Movie Night

Movie Night was great!  Turtles kicked booté at Team Scrabble with her seven-letter, rack-emptying "autopsy".  Not to mention the place I found for it that hit a triple word score.  In total, it put away ninety-six points, including the fifty-point bonus for a seven-letter word.  =)

"Robin Hood: Men In Tights" and "Boston Legal" are always fun, too!  They never get old!  =)

Too bad the marshmallows didn't expand any more than they did in the microwave, though.  It didn't work as well as I thought it would.  =(

Oh, and if you want a good laugh, go to google and type in "UN fails to".  Scroll down and just look at some of the memos, or you can click this link - http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=UN+fails+to

A piece of modern art from Nice, France lovingly entitled "Blockhead" -

Friday, February 15, 2008

Favorite Post #16

Mmmhhhmmm... =)

Ziggy paid the bird feeders a visit today.  =)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

ASB Today

I'm really sorry; I haven't had time to post in ages!  I've been killed with homework this week.  I was up past midnight on Tuesday, but it's all good!

Make sure you have read "The Raven" notes by Encarta, the Oliver Wendell Holmes Bio, and "The Chambered Nautilus" for the next meeting.  I know some people missed either the beginning or end of today's meeting, so it's just easiest to ask that you have all that done for Tuesday.  If you covered one or more of those in class, don't worry about them outside.


Tags: , , ,

Sunday, February 10, 2008

YMCA!!!!

The YMCA all-nighter was awesome!  I woke up at noon this morning, and my right arm was sore from that war in the pool.  It was really fun, though.  I wish I could've played "Apples to Apples", too, but Croft obviously took presidence!  =)

You can't forget the "bucket loads" of tumbling either.  Ha, ha... that was great.  "Wait - how did this happen?  Aren't we too smart for this?"  Right... that kind of stuff always seems to happen to us.

And the front desk people!  "Someone's having a little too much fun on the spin cycle!"

¡Sabes te gusta panecillos mermaledos!  =P

This weekend has gone too quickly.  =(

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Drama Selection

Congratulations to the cast and crew of the drama!

On the other hand, though, I have to admit I completely despise how Mr. Teeple chooses the actors.  According to him those who've already had their chance to shine need to let others who haven't.  In my opinion, the best actor should get the lead role.  Otherwise a random person with no particular theatrical talent such as myself could get a part while a very abled person didn't after they'd spent years working their way up through the ranks of the plays.

This philosophy of choosing the cast isn't at all like life.  In the real world, no one is going to the stop the best from taking the spotlight.

Not to mention that this style is really disrespectful to the people who have worked really hard for all those years at school to make their way up to the top honestly.  It just ticks me off to see a dramatic amateur with no passion for acting get a better part than someone's who's been faithful to the department for a long time.

But whatever, congrats all the same to the people who've been part of the productions for years (either cast or crew).  Kudos to those skillful people who didn't make it because a Liberal moron believes that the less talented should get more attention than the successful.  Everyone knows who you are and that you deserve better for your labors!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Valentine's Dance

The Valentine's Dance was awesome today!  Sorry I couldn't stay afterwards to help clean-up, but I had to leave right away for Tae Kwon Do.  I didn't get a lot of pictures this time, so I apologize.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Literature

In ASB Literature today we took the Short Story Test.  For Tuesday you'll need to read "Annabell Lee" by Poe; be prepared for a quiz on it.  Poetry quizzes will cover content (the meaning), literary terms (how the meaning is expressed), and connections (why the author wrote what they did and how they relate to the story).

Sorry I haven't had a lot of time for posting, but I should be caught up with everything by the weekend!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Stealing Cookies

In my AOL News I read an article about a cookie-theft in Florida.  Girl Scouts were posted at a table outside a grocery and accompanied by an adult when a teenage female came up to the stand and began talking to the scouts.  Mid speech, the teen quickly grabbed an envelope containing $150 of cookie money and jumped into a car a cohort had pulled up in.  According to the article:

"...the two miscreants apparently did it for the money. "We went through all that effort to get it, we got all these charges and we had to give the money back. I'm kind of pissed," said one. The other one said she wasn't sorry, just angry that they got caught. Luckily, however, they did get caught and will hopefully face some stiff punishment."

I love that.  She's mad that she had to work to steal it and then got caught!  Wow, what crazy people.  However, I wouldn't say no to borrowing a few Caramel Delights!  Addicted, much!  =)

CAN'T WAIT FOR THE YMCA ON FRIDAY!!!!!

I'm bringing my Lara Croft movies, so I can initiate Ardvark.  This is going to be awesome!  =)

Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Busiest Day For...

I found an interesting article on my AOL news that had some cool statistics.  The busiest day for...

~ ...pizza is Super Bowl Sunday.

~ ...urgent care centers is Christmas.

~ ...plumbers is the day after Thanksgiving.

~ ...Disney is New Year's Eve.

~ ...KFC is Mother's Day.

~ ...Applebee's "To Go" is Valentine's Day.

~ ...divorce lawyers, travel agents, and job hunters is January seventh.

~ ...collect calls is Father's Day.

~ ...boating is July Fourth.

~ ...firemen is July Fourth.

~ ...florists is Valentine's Day.

~ ...Chinese restaurants is Christmas.

~ ...air travel is August fourth (not anywhere near Thanksgiving as represented in the common misconception).

~ ...shopping isn't Black Friday, but the last Saturday before Christmas or December 23 if Christmas is on the weekend.

~ ...online shopping isn't Cyber Monday; it's Green Monday, the second Monday is December.

~ ...mail is third Monday in December.

~ ...grocery shopping is the day before Thanksgiving.

~ ...births is between Christmas and New Year's (maximizes tax benefits).

I just thought that was curious enough to be "sharable".  =)

Drama in the New Kingdom

Reading about ancient Egyptian dynasties is like watching drama that never gets old.  It continues to impress no matter how much I learn.  If you throw a few names like “Paris”, “Britney”, or “Hillary” in, you have yourself a Hollywood household in power of one of the greatest ancient empires.

 

Though, what I find particularly interesting are the female pharaohs.  In ancient Egypt, having a woman as ruler was a good sign that there were some serious issues going in the palace.  There is an especially ruthless one and her story that have always specifically fascinated me.

 

Tuthmosis I had no intention of passing the crown to just a trusted friend, and both of his sons by his primary wife died before him.  He chose to appoint a son born to a secondary wife as heir. The next step was to strengthen the new dynastic power of his son; he married Tuthmosis II to a daughter, Hatshepsut, by the first wife.

 

Tuthmosis II was an unlucky guy.  He’d suffered from bad health his entire life and then forced into marriage with his half-sister, who was the Hillary Clinton of the BC!  She didn’t feel like letting her weak husband rule when she could exploit this vulnerability for her own ends.  Needless to say, Tuthmosis II hardly enjoyed the time he spent with his wife, half-sister and co-ruler.  Instead he enjoyed the company of a woman, Iset, who he never married but fathered a son by.  What’s really juicy is that he named this illegitimate baby heir to the throne, which was a slap in the face to Hatshepsut.

 

As a result of his ill condition, Tuthmosis II died before turning thirty-five and had no other son besides the one by his mistress.  However, Tuthmosis III was still a child, so the ever-ambitious Hatshepsut took the thrown.  She claimed it was her right as the baby’s aunt (and stepmother) to rule as his regent.

 

Hatshepsut wasn’t exactly convincing the royal court with these pleas, so she cunningly built a second temple to Amun to earn a few brownie points with Senenmut, the Chief Steward of Amun and a very influential Egyptian.  She then proceeded to order a relief carved in this new temple of Amun paying a visit to her mother, implying that the god conceived her.  She also had an engraving etched of Tuthmosis II crowning her queen of Egypt before his death.  It was all obviously a sham, but according to whispers and some antique graffiti, Senenmut was a lot more to Hatshepsut than just an advisor.

 

When Tuthmosis III came of age to inherit the kingdom, Hatshepsut conveniently sent him out on a few errands in foreign states to delay the coronation.  Technically she never really deposed him, just presented herself as the senior leader.  While he was out campaigning, Hatshepsut was busy carving her name into the sands of time.  She was struck with monument-mania and made she her character was attached to it.

Tuthmosis III was now well into his twenties when the queen died.  He returned and indulged in a savage clearing of his aunt’s name from the history books.  He smashed the relief showing her divine appointment, scratched her name from the statues, and built walls hiding her obelisks.  After he felt she had sufficiently felt his wrath, he went on to be a great campaigner in the Semitic lands of Canaan, and even earned the title “The Napoleon of Ancient Egypt”.  There is tale from that epic of his life that appeals to me, but I’ll have to wait to share that another time.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Candlemas - Past to Present

February second, most commonly recognized as Groundhog Day, once was the celebration of the Celtic goddess Brigid.  It was one of the four seasonal festivals of the Celts and was known as Imbolc.  Imbolc celebrated the ewes coming into milk, which was a symbol of rebirth for the Celts out of the deathly weeks following Samhain (ancient Halloween).

Today February second honors Candlemas as the fortieth day after the Nativity of Jesus, the fourth Joyful Mystery of Rosary in the Roman Catholic Church, one of the twelve Great Feasts of the Eastern Orthodox, and the Principal Feast in the English Church.  This was the typical Pagan-Christian conversion story.  After a while, you start to notice they all have the same pattern.

How the Romans Converted the Pagans

- Non-Christians have BIG party!

- Roman-Christians come and wave big, nasty weapons in non-Christians' faces.

- Roman-Christians say, "You keep big party, but now you call it ________, only with no sex, drugs, or nudity.  Welcome to Christianity.  Be good, or we'll do hurtful things to you."

The Romans must've been feeling nice that day, because to make up for un-partifying the party, they gave them two instead of one!   All the sudden, the goddess Brigid quite conveniently became Saint Brigid!  February second was now Candlemas and St. Brigid's day.

Using their excess of brain cells, the Celts accepted that two Christian parties were better than one Pagan one, which is especially easy to do when you have some sharp and shinies poking you.  If the Celts decided to realize anything else, there would be no party at all, and as we know, the ancients were party people.  There was no way they were going to give those up unless you upped the ante.

Friday, February 1, 2008

ASB/ABS/SAB Lit. Test

I wrote the Short Story Test today.  You'll want to know the following about it:

Content

- "The Birthmark"

- "Young Goodman Brown"

- "The Cask of Amontillado"

- "The Murders in the Rue Morgue"

- All literary terms that apply

- Story vocabulary

Value

- 58 questions

- 3 points/question

- 174 points total (3/4 of your short story unit grade)

Time

- 30 seconds/question (competition standard)

- 29 minutes total

Study Suggestions

- Read the quizes we took

- Read over hand-written notes (setting, protagonist, etc)

- Read over footnotes, especially for defintions of the story's vocabulary (words like "deacon").

FYI: I had a former ASB Literature member take the test.  It took him 7 minutes.  He has read " The Cask of Amontillado" in school last year, had heard me talk a little about the stories, and knew the LTs from previous years on the team.  He got 51/58 correct, an 88%.  There's no reason that everyone else shouldn't get that score or better.  No pressure!  The point is that if you know you're stuff, you should have good prospects!  =)