Saturday, May 31, 2008

¡SUMMER!

It's summer!  I'm so excited!  I'm really into my book, America's Hidden History.  It's the best history book I've read in a while, but I really haven't read that much at all this year.  Who has time?

I was really disappointed that we weren't supposed to use cameras yesterday - at all, not even during the dance.  (Not that that stopped me.  It's a stupid rule.)  I was very upset with that.

I'm going to go see "Prince Caspian" today at 3:30 at the Carmike.  I've only heard great things about it.  I'm kind of inspired to even reread the series.  They're pretty short books after all, but I want to finish the one I'm reading first.

I think this poster make's him look like an egg-head, but anyway.

AOL Journals was updated again!  I went to choose my mood (you have to choose from a pull-down list), and there was a Butt Ton and the list went on for like a Butt Mile!  Instead of about twelve on the previous list, I can now choose from one hundred!

BL Quote

5-29

Shirley: I always say two things.  One is, everything you do reflects on Crane, Poole, and Schmidt.  What is the other?

Denise: You're Schmidt.

5-30

Jeffrey: The angry, bald, little husband killed his wife... just like in the movies.

5-31

Alan: I'm a man of principle - or not - whatever the situation calls for.

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Finals, Finals, Finals

I am happy and sad right now.  And that makes me frustrated.  It's an emotion triangle (like the love triangle)!

I got a 99% on Señor Verde's Second Semester Final.  The record was a 98% before me, but I was so painfully close to 100%.  It really irks me.  Unbelievably.   Unfathomably.  (This is where Clink would jump in and lecture on the ¿apparently? ginormous difference between "unbelievably" and "unfathomably")  Totally.  Completely.  Like you have no idea irksome.  Time to let it out:

¡LESBIAN!

Ha, ha... I feel better now!  We'd have no more wars if the world new about the stress-relieving qualities of that word.

Don't ask me what I got on my science final (I'll tell you in a second anyway).  That stunk - an 83%.  Ha, ha... I have no idea how I did that badly.  I was pretty comfortable with it actually.  I'm so confused now.

The Spanish Final (all three lugging parts of it...) have been really easy.  Same for Algebra.  Both of the two parts were pretty simple, I thought.

Well, that's enough about finals.  On Memorial Day I went over to my aunt's house.  We were talking about the end of the school year, and my mom confirmed with me that I had a party on Friday.  Then my cousin (Junior in college) asked if there was going to be a dance, and I said "Of course!"  She said she's going to come crash it, so she can dance with me.  Then I told her to take a number and get in line.  It was pretty funny.  =)

My mom got me this cool book today, and coincidentally it's by my favorite history author, Kenneth C. Davis (Don't Know Much About History).  It's America's Hidden History.  I really like it from the very limited taste of it I've been able to get.

(A Butt-Ton of) BL Quote

5-21

Denny: Hope you die.  Denny Crane.

5-22

Denny: Hey kid, front and center.  I bet you'd lick my shoes for a murder case, wouldn't you?

Garrett: Oh, I would, sir.

Denny: Becuase I like you, you don't have to lick them.... just dust them with your sleeve.

5-23

Denny: It's fun being me.  Is it fun being you?

Alan: Most of the time actually.

Denny: Then what else is there?

Alan: Indeed.

5-24

Denny: [to Judge Cooper] You're a douchebag.  I don't do well with douchebags.

5-25

Dwight Biddle: It's Bumpy, isn't it?  I had such a crush on that cow [yes, he actually means it]... it doesn't mean I'm gay!

5-26

Melissa: You're a really wierd man, aren't you?

Alan: Seems so.

5-27

Denny: Because we're friends, I'm gonna tell you something nobody else knows.  I'm homophobic.

Alan: [deadpan] I'm stunned.

5-28

Denny: Thank you, Alan, for coming with me.

Alan: I think friends hsould always encourage friends to get their heads examined.

Footnotes from Shoetopia

Break out the tissues.

Yes, you heard it here first.  Once I run out of footnotes during the summer, they'll have to go on hold.  BUT that just means that Shoetopia Citizen will be writing a bunch of amazing ones over the summer to give to me in August, so we won't have to worry about running out next summer!  =)

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

PPP and the Vortex

A new PPP video!

Here is a montage of pictures from Turtle's party after Swim Chick got a hold of it:

These two are good.  Ha, ha...

After working on the English project at my house a week before the most recent Sunday, we got this picture of Turtles and a musket!

BL Quote

[About Judge Hooper]

Denise: You're sure it was the husband?

Lincoln: I am.  He drives some sort of little, white converible in an attempt, I suppose, to seem interesting, which he's not - not at all.  He's a nasty, little man.  He made her get that restraining order against me.  He made her do it.

Denise: Well, you are a Peeping Tom.

Lincoln: She liked that.  She liked that I looked.  I was a benign peepy.

Footnotes from Shoetopia

SHOETOPIA CITIZEN, I NEED NEW FOOTNOTES!  CHOP, CHOP!

That's all.

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Monday, May 19, 2008

Pictures!! (A VERY Long, But Awesome, Entry)

I think I'm detecting a pattern as to how frequently I post.  Well, anyway I've got a bunch of stuff to talk about.

Let's see... firstly was Turtle's b-day part-ay on Friday, which was spectacular!  Ha, ha... "Mr. Brickley Hears a Mysterious Ticking Noise" and "Shrooms!"  And RCSackAttack is AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!  Here is his winning shot –

Just look at the neck...... not quite giraffe-like, but he's working it.  =P

BUT now you have the chance to challenge Tyra, Nigel, and Ms. Jay!  Look at the following pics and choose who you think should have been AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!

Norbert's Mother –

 

Turtles -

 

Groblette -

 

SmllSwimChic -

 

Mina -

 

Sissy Girl -

 

Ha, ha... well now that you've been thoroughly entertained, I can talk about this last weekend.  I went backpacking at Chain O' Lakes with my Philmont crew.  The weather was perfect, especially compared to the previous Philmont practice.  Yay!  Good parts end there, ha, ha... =)

The pace was atrocious.  I was dying... I swear.  It took us... get this... six hours to go ten miles!  The average, unencumbered, human, walking speed is about 3 MPH, but we only averaged about 1.7 MPH!  We had heavy backpacks, but still... these guys are supposed to be some of the most accomplished hikers of our council (it's like a district).

It really makes me appreciate how strong my home troop is.  At each of the two high adventure outings I've been, we had a steady 3.25-3.5 MPH pace, and that was at the actual site!  In easy-terrain Indiana, we can go much faster than that!  I wasn't impressed... at all.

No one in the crew will talk to me either.  Look at this conversation (this is an exact quote... I kid you not!):

Me: So... what school do you go to?

Crew Member: Huntington North.

Me: Cool... so what grade are you in?

Crew Member: Sophomore.

End of conversation.

That's not even the worst!  He's one of the more average people when it comes to sociability.  One guy won't even acknowledge my existence!  When I was leaving, I said, "Thanks," and "Good bye," to him, and then he didn't even look up at me from the book he was reading!  It's pretty irritating.  Gar!  Wacco!  Wizard!  Smashing!  Lesbian!

Oh, and here are the photos from the "nerd party" at Ball State last week.  I hadn't been able to get them on here before now:

 

Wow.  That picture makes Groblette look really short.  Ha, ha!  =P

Oh!  I almost forgot!  Congrats to Panda Guy, Shoetopia Citizen, Turtles, Groblette, and me (of course!) on the awesome interpretation of The Red Badge of Courage in English.  That was the most amazing skit ever!

BL Quote

5-16

Denny: So whose ass did you have kicked?

Alan: Someone whose ass thoroughly deserved it.

Denny: Good!  I can never understand why people don't use violence more often to solve their problems - works every time!

5-17

Brad: Okay.  We're required to turn this over to Ms. Beller and, per the rules of discovery, we'll provide it with the other one hundred thousand pages of documents that pertain to their production request.

Chris Mott: So you're going to bury it.

Brad: No, that would be unethical.  We'll simply comply... fully.

5-18

Brad: [to Denise after establishing that she spoke fluent Italian] So let me ask you this: in Italian does the word 'vagina' mean something else?

5-19

Melissa: Don't fall for her, Alan.  She's just a guest star.

Footnotes from Shoetopia

Whew... I'm pretty sure that's the (with a long "e" sound) longest post ever.  Nifty...  =)

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

Tae Kwon Do Funny

Firstly you have to see the 'shroom of which I am so proud (sorry for the weird wording; I just couldn't bring myself to end that with a preposition).  It uploaded this time!  Yay!

Oh, and if you didn't catch it - those two halves are from the same 'shroom.  Ha, ha... I just realized, "Maybe someone'll think I got two mushrooms, and this whole time I've been talking about the one... hmmm..."

So... my Tae Kwon Do instructor made a joke (that actually made me laugh) about another martial arts school today, which is a first, because usually he has these stupid puns that he latches onto (yes... like a leech) for months.  Someone complained about being tired while we were sparring, so he turned to them and said, "Tired?  Where do you think you are Hoffman's or the GAY-TA?"  (Instead of ATA)  Ah... good times.  What was even better was when he followed it up by grabbing his belt and saying (in this high-pitched voice), "Let's go spar some boys!"  That part reminded me of Michael Jackson... then the MJ people... then Mr. C's class... then "Let's get some 'shrooms..." by which time everyone had stopped laughing but me.  So anywho...

BL Quote

Alan: You know, we have a saying in Massachusetts, "Maybe someday you'll get horribly sick and die."  Until then.

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

'Shroom Hunting with David and More Intolerance

Yay!  I found a 3.5 inch tall white morel after school today.  W00T!  I tried to upload the picture to the blog, but for some reason it wouldn't let me.  You'll just have to use your imagination and this picture from google I guess.

Wow.  I heard one of the craziest things today.  Our good friend "Woody" thought it would be a spectacular idea if we could extract the radioactive material from crude oil.  That way we could flatten all of Arabia, and then calmly fly over in a bunch of monkey suits (to avoid radiation).  That way, Mecca will be erased, and we can take the leftover, unaffected gas for ourselves.  Is that not pleasant?  Ha, ha... he seriously thinks that all Muslims, specifically including moderates, are out to destroy Americans.  Woody's greatest wish to be the one to give the plunger its push.

This was his latest bout of hideous intolerance.  Sickening...

BL Quote

Denny: Denny Crane.  My poop doesn't smell.  Comes out in pretty colors - pastels.  Denny Crane.

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

¡Nerd Party!

Ah!  Sorry, I realize it's been ages since I've posted, but I have excuses... kind of.  There's been so many cool things going on!

Cedar Point was insane, minus a few party-poopers (=P).  I absolutely loved the Millennium!  I had been there one time before when I was younger, and I didn't have time to ride it then.  I was pretty disappointed, but now I feel fulfilled!  W00T (with zeroes) for fulfillment!

Shopping went well on Sunday.  I got to go to Tizio's, so that made my day.  Not to mention working on the English project in the afternoon.  Good stuff...

Yesterday was Nerd Party at Ball State for SAT/ACT scores.  Fun, fun... the speeches were actually really boring this time.  Normally they are pretty good, and I actually enjoy them.  Not so much this time... I had to resort to texting under the table.  Te, he... BUT we got shinies!  W00T for shinies!

(A Tigulis Unit of) BL Quotes

5-8

Warren: That's it?  Two question.  That was your cross?

Lori: I didn't have much to cross him with Warren.

Warren: Then what was the point of your questions?  Tell me that.

Lori: I was trying to establish that you were coerced.  The judge doesn't shock easily, but maybe the jury does.

Warren: Oh, I see; you were going for shock value.  Well, maybe you could've really gone for it and asked three questions.

5-9

Judge Stevens: Motion for continuance is denied.

Denny: You know what I'm going to do, Brian, just to show you there are no hard feelings?  I'm going to sleep with your wife.

5-10

Denny: You left me, Shirley.  Women don't leave Denny Crane.  And for a secretary!

Shirley: It was the Secretary of Defense.

5-11

Alan: Shirley?

Shirley: Alan.

Alan: You're in the men's room... again.

Shirley: I need a favor.

Alan: Certainly.  My stall or yours?

5-12

Lori: And what exactly is your defense?

Alan: Something like let him go even though he did it.

Lori: Jury nullification?

Alan: Best I can tell, though Shirley hasn't really filled me in.

Shirley: [enters] Talking about me?

Alan: Yes, Shirley.  If you so enjoy keeping me in the dark, you really should give me a try... in the dark.

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Inside Jokes

I was paging through Lord of the Zippers (it was originally Lord of the Flies, but we thought our favorite Algebra could star as the Lord of the Zippers), and I can't stop laughing at all our inside jokes that I've scribbled in there:

~ Mr. Brickley Hears a Mysterious Ticking Noise (slope, slope, slope-ity, slope... PARALLEL!)

~ Hawt

~ Unicorn questing

~ In-betweenness

~ Shoetopia

~ Ass-mar

~ "What the Whig!"/"This Whiggishness will not be tolerated!"/Whiggery/Whiggishness

~ Raining buckets, flying rackets, and too much fun on the spin cycle

~ Making soup with power tools

~ "I WANNA BORROW THAT MACAIRE!"

~ "Let's get some AIDS."

~ "Let's get some 'shrooms."

~ "Life sucks play Dagorhir" and "I love men who wear kilts"

~ "Azura's beauty is a crime!"

~ Waxy

~ Gar/Wakko/Wizard/Smashing/Lesbian

~ The square root of stuff equals junk!

~ "Hey!  Look, a duck!"

~ "The sun is a mass..."

~ "Macaire, you skank!"  (ha, ha...)

~ ¡¡¡INQUISTIVE ANT!!!

Good times... we're amazing...

Which reminds me that I'm so mad, because we have to take ISTEP twice next year!  Lesbian!  Oh, and just so you know, the spell check wanted to replace "skank" with "spank."  Ha, ha... that made me laugh.

BL Quote

Denny: How can you ban red meat?

Dominick: Well, they've got a whole campaign.  They're going to go with it.  They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world,

Denny: We're carnivores.  When the pilgrims landing, first thing they did was eat a few Indians.

Silence [Awkward turtle!]

Dominick: Is there anything we can do?

Shirley: We'll get in the media TRO.

Denny: I'll argue it myself.  Ban red meat - that cannot pass Constitutional mustard.

Shirley: The word is "muster," Denny, but you're right - the law lacks condiments.\

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Silly David, Trix Are for Kids!

Well, you know (or don't) the worksheet we got in Green today... with the six short answers?  Being smart as usual, I brought my binder home with it, but forgot my dumb history textbook, which is also conveniently not online.  I know how I'll be spending tomorrow morning in the cafeteria.  Silly me.  Gar.  Lesbian.

I think I'm going to save my lovely Algebra and English for third period with the cello (see below) tomorrow.  I did my science, though, so you can still be semi-proud-ish.  Ha, ha... homework is stupid.  Schoolwork should be done at school!  Homework is about as silly as leaving your unable-to-look-up-online, social studies book at school for the longest assignment from history of the year.  Wacko.  Wizard.  Smashing.  Lesbian.

BL Quote

Brad: Feel free to mock me all you want, but don't you dare ridicule our troops.

Alan: Just so I'm clear, I should feel free to mock you?

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Monday, May 5, 2008

Wow

This is an amazing ad my mom found:

BL Quote

Shirley: You do realize that I am significantly older than you are.

Jeffrey: Then be my significantly older other.

Shirley: I am a senior partner here.

Jeffrey: You say that like it can get you laid.  It can.

Jeffrey needs to back off.  �Shirley Schmidt es m�o!

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Sunday, May 4, 2008

Algebra and Morels

I despise this Algebra chapter.  I'm trying to catch up on the last three assignments, which I missed/didn't do.  I officially hate missing school, too, because teaching myself sucks.  So anyway, I'm taking a break from that right now to blog.  Sorry it's been a while by the way.

I cannot wait until summer; I'm so bored with Indiana.  Although, I am really happy that spring is finally here.  It's so nice in the woods this time of the year!  Speaking of which, 'shroom hunting with Mr. C wasn't that bad yesterday.  He didn't talk about anything boring, so that was nice.  It was almost good conversation!  We didn't find a single morel (the good, yummy mushroom), though.  We were a bit early in the season.

This year is so much different than last year.  I know this sounds really nerdy, but I was actually depressed about the first three days of last summer.  I was really, really sad that seventh grade was over.  It was so amazing!  Ah, nothing will ever beat Mcniece's fourth period.  Good memories... stinging applesauce in my nose... Gregory... notes on the dry-erase board... picnic... bridges... *sigh*...  I do think we made the most of this grade, though!  Considering what we were given (teacher/people-wise), it's gone pretty well.

What's for sure, is that I may not be sad about leaving eighth grade, however I will be over the fact that we're leaving MCMS.  =(

BL Quote

5-2

Alan: I always feel slightly sick to my stomach when I work alone in the office late at night.

Denise: I thought you liked being alone.

Alan: Oh, I love being alone.  I just prefer to be alone when there's other people around.

5-3

Denny: Alan, Bev is the woman I've always dreamed of.  An angel in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen.

Alan: I think it's the other way around.

Denny: Not last night.

5-4

Alan: [to Denny] Ah, there you are!  I've hardly seen you this episode.

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Thursday, May 1, 2008

Would You Still Be My Friend If...

I was kind of bored in my room today after studying and cleaning.  During my scourge, I found a bag of party balloons, and then I began wondering, "Would you still be my friend if had man-boobs like these?"

Ha, ha... aren't they lovely?  I think the one on on the right ended up being larger... oh, well, I tried to make them even.  Anywho, make sure to vote!

Footnotes from Shoetopia

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Cough, Hack, Cough...

Bah!  I'm sick today!  Well, I was yesterday, too, but I really needed that review in Green's class.  I only went to school out of desperation.  But being sick today has its bonuses.  I can study for his test that I'm missing today, and I'll finally be able to clean my room!  Unfortunately, I can barely talk.  *Hacks*

My iPod froze this morning, but then I googled "what to do when my iPod freezes."  WikiAnswers said to just hold the center and menu buttons for 6-8 second until the APPLE logo appears.  I didn't know that could happen, so I kind of freaked out.  It's all good now, though.

Shoetopia Citizen: You need to comment what color you want the heading to be of the new section, "Footnotes from Shoetopia."

BL Quote

4-29

Denny: [to Claire about Lincoln] You said I'd like him.  he's an attention-starved wacko fairy.  He couldn't kill anyone.

Lincoln: I heard that!  I'm getting tired of you, Large Marge.  You remind me of Mr. Dirty Mouth.  That's what you do.

4-30

Detective Spindle: What's the infield fly rule?

Lincoln: I haven't the slightest.  Does it involve a zipper?

Denny: [to Claire] I bet he's more familiar with a zipper than he is with baseball.

5-1

Gracie Jane: [on T.V.] It takes more than a stiff whack on the head to keep me down, folks.  Trust me, I get hit harder during sex.  I'm only sorry this creep-o didn't have at me with a shovel during sweeps.

Lincoln: [turns off T.V.] I knew I should've plunked her a second time!  I just knew it!

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