=)
Tags: Life, Favorite Article
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Haterade and the Right-Wing Snow White
You can see my new product "Haterade" (with the help of a certain Liberal Tech. Ed teacher who I have third period) in its design format below. Drink of Right-Wingers.
Snow White Epilogue (my version) -
It was a pleasant day in Fairy Tale Land, as Snow White prepared sandwiches for the Seven Dwarves who were hard away at work in the mines. They've been busy working overtime to make up for the deficit in the funds for the cottage, because all the stream-crossing, illegal-alien woodland creatures have migrated into the area to exploit Snow White's hospitality and steal the hard-working Dwarves tax dollars.
With all the sandwiches finished, Snow White proceeded along the trail to the cave. Blocking the path was a mass of Liberal rabbits, protesting the cottage's lack of water-conserving toilets and energy-efficient windows. Fed up with this left-wing crap, Snow White brandished her twenty-gauge shotgun, killing all the Democratic beasts in sight. However every fifty she shot, fifty more sprang up. Such is the way with Liberals and with rabbits.
Tired of this futile toil, Snow White retreated the cottage where she started up a gas-guzzling tank!
"Take this you hybrid-driving Communists!" shouted the enraged princess.
RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT went Snow White's machine gun, slaughtering all the unpatriotic beasts in sight.
CRUNCH went Snow White's treads over the massacred bunnies, squishing their broken bodies into the forest floor, where they'd rest for three milleniums, producing the petroleum they so desperately wanted to - quite a fair trade in her opinion.
Snow White crawled out of the hatch on top her tank, and proceeded to perform a cultural dance that has survived the Liberal genocide of everyone not white, Christian, and Communist. Looking out through the now-silent woods, Snow White reveled in the satisfaction of a hard days work. She was in such a good mood, she later would bring out her reversible dart board with opposite pictures of Hillary and Rosy to play a few games with.
Upon the purge of the rapidly-reproducing vermin, Snow White continued along the trail to the cave. When she reached its entranced, she cried out in alarm! There had been a cave in! She frantically shouted to the lost Dwarves, "Hello! Helloooo! Is anyone out there!? Can anyone hear me?!"
After a few seconds she caught a response! There was a quiet, but distinct whisper saying, "Vote for Hillary... vote for Hillary..."
"Oh, good! Dopey's still alive!"
In ASB Lit. today, we took the "Murders of Rue Morgue" Quiz and played review games for the Short Story Test this Tuesday (2-5-08). It will cover, oddly enough, all the short stories! Study the quizes, study the notes, and skim over the stories and you shoud do fine. Know what authors wrote what stories and understand why they wrote what they wrote (how the author and story relate).
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Pastor's Son
This is another chain mail I recently got that I found funny:
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy
should give some thought to choosing a profession.
Like many young men, the boy didn't
really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about
it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, His father decided to try
an experiment.
He went into the boy's room and placed on His study table
four objects:
- a Bible,
- a silver dollar,
- a bottle of whisky
and
- a Playboy magazine
"I'll just hide behind the door," the old
Preacher said to himself, "when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll
see which object he picks up."
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that
would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that
would be okay, too.
But If he picks up the bottle, he 's going to be a no-good drunkard, and,
Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that
magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his
son's footsteps. As he entered the house whistling and headed for his
room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the
room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked
over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his
arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked
the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's
centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered,
He's gonna run for Congress!"
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
¡Bad Doggie!
In Arizona, a delivery man was instructed to place two Super Bowl tickets beneath the doormat, but instead slips the envelope under the door. When the owner of the house came home, his black lab, Buddy, he decided to use the $1,800 package as a chew toy. Ha, ha... I find that amusing.
Question: What could someone do with the $1,800 they would've spent on Super Bowl tickets if they elected to watch it on television instead?
According to Google, the answer is that you could buy a lovely Dell "Inspiran" laptop, pay off the penalties on your health insurance, purchase a partially used 93 Honda Civic, get an HD TV by Sony, or, my personal favorite, refurbish your house with energy-efficient windows. Any of those sound much better than traveling to a different city, only to have to deal with crowds and bustle, with the result being getting to squint from nose-bleed heights at a bunch of guys throw around a ball. Sounds like good fun.
My suggestion: Use the $1,800 to buy yourself the Sony HD TV, invite all your friends over for a big partay, and enjoy good company while you get to see the game closer than you would hundreds of feet away in the stands if you were actually there. Afterall, the commercials are the best part anyway. =)
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Australia Day
Happy late Australia Day! I forgot to wish everyone that yesterday, so I figured I might as well today.
Australia Day commemorates the day Captain Arthur Phillip landed at Sydney Cove and established the penal (p-e-n-a-l) colony there that would grow into the continent-country's capital on January 26, 1788. Australia Day is the official national holiday of Australia and also known as Anniversary Day and Foundation Day, but also Invasion Day, Day of Mourning, and Survival Day. The last three were lovingly created by the ancestors of the Aborigine people in honor of the adverse effects that Britain's arrival had on their culture.
Sadly, the fortunes of the indigenous Australians haven't improved much. Making up 2.4% of the total Australian residence, Aborigine-Australian descendents are eleven times more likely to commit a crime than a non-indigenous Australians and twice as likely to be a victim. Nearly one out of every four Aborigines reported having suffered a violent crime in 2001. 20% of native Australians are unemployed as well. This society is in a sad state.
WARNING TO AMERICA - That's what happens when you let Liberals run a country (or dumb Conservatives, either way)! Actually, a lot of the problems of the Aborgine community comes from their unwillingness to integrate. Example: There are over two-hundred distinct native languages throughout Australia. If they can't even speak the same language, how can they possibly expect to be understood? It wouldn't hurt to legalize firearms either. We can all see how much that's done with Washington D.C.; it hasn't lowered the crime rate, instead it just started a new line of businesses in the blackmarket. My thoughts are that if all women were trained in firearms and carried loaded guns, there would be no more rapes - end of story.
An Aborigine community's football game -
Aboriginal flag of Australia -
National Geographic - January 2008 Edition
This was an awesome edition of National Geographic! It had a little bit of everything I enjoy in my magazines.
The "Black Pharaohs" article was great! New information regarding Egypt's "Nubian" 25th Dynasty who ruled for the Two Lands for seventy-five years has been uncovered. These black invaders came from the South and were part of a Southern-Nile civilization that deviated from the stereotypical Egyptian culture. The ancient Nubians adopted the Egyptian language, burial, and pantheon of gods. This copycat society was even complete with its own Sudanese-style pyramids (as a random fact, present-day Sudan actually has more pyramids than Egypt)! As National Geographic put it, these were the first people struck by "Egyptomania".
"Mexico's Other Border" didn't particularly interest me, but I got the jist of it from skimming it. Mixed among the illegal immigrants crossing the American-Mexican is a portion Guatemalans who work there way up through Central America in an attempt to reach the States.
I got the cute bird picture from the "Philippine Eagles" article. This article was the typical case of a disappearing species due to deforestation and human development in their habitat. One of the largest raptors in the world, they only produce one youngling every other year, which combined with the loss of their homes creates an obvious issue.
"Drying of the West" was an upsetting and somewhat disturbing article that prophesied the end of the American West by drought. According to the article, the 20th Century was the wettest century in the last two milleniums; it's close marks the beginning of the end for our desert society.
The "Outsiders in Afghanistan" article talked about the Hazara people of the Middle East who are set apart by geography, beliefs, and are oppressed by the Taliban. This is the classic story of a suffering culture under subjugation of terrorist organizations.
The last article, "On the Poet's Trail" was a historical trek along the 1,200 mile path of Japan's haiku master, Basho. He is described in the piece as "... a quirky philosopher tour-guide who pretty much leaves readers alone to experience traveling in those remotre places for themselves." This article was definitely different from any other I've read in this magazine, but still good!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
SAT
I took the SAT this morning. We had to do this whole thing where we swear not to discuss the subjects of the questions or essay at all, otherwise I'd tell you how dumb the topics were. They try to find things that are SO boring that nobody could possibly know anything about them beforehand. It'd be so much more entertaining if they had fun stories about Hillary or someone else equally amusing. Well that would make the topic at least more relatable than the history and cultivation of pond scum in South America (that was one of last year's ACT topics so I can share it!), which is almost as dry as arguing with a Liberal!
Top 10 Reasons Being Conservative Is More Fun Than Being Liberal –
10. We can oppose illegal immigration, and still love Taco Bell.
9. We choose exciting title heads like “I Am Woman, Hear Me Bore” (about Hillary, by Ann).
8. We don’t have to stoop so low as to falsify wiki articles about Liberal leaders.
7. We can sleep with a clean conscience knowing that not only do we insult Liberals, we enjoy doing it. Liberals have to bore-ify everything by sucking the fun out of debates (i.e. conflict resolution).
6. We can suggest things like baby licenses (one of my favorite ideas by Glenn!) and say things like, “Taunting Liberals is like having a pet that does tricks. Sit! Beg! Shake!” (Thanks Ann!)
5. “DENNY CRANE.” We have “Boston Legal”, the T.V. show with the richest, most Conservative audience.
4. We don’t have to listen to the hybrid-driving, socialistic Greenpeace. Not only do we promote needlessly consuming fossil fuels, we then can laugh at the “imminent demise of the world” and fire back with insane stats such as, “The rise of CO2 emissions has led to 98% less deaths from extreme weather in the four-year span between 2000 and 2004.” (An Inconvenient Book)
3. We can shoot our friends and get away with it. (Not that I'd ever shoot any of my friends; it's just an interesting skill of ours.)
(The Liberals may want to grab their Kleenex or curl up in the corner now) …
2. Our not-so-secret weapon… Ann. =]
1. When we argue, we get guns!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Trump-Bashing
I'm SO glad that conflict resolution is over. I had scratched that title off all the paper heads and switched it to "Liberal Propaganda". The lady from the Girl Scouts who was teaching the unit had this odd hatred for Donald Trump. She's a Rosy sympathizer. She just kept going on and on about how negative of a person Trump is, how baseless his insults are about Rosy, and how he never has anything nice to say on "The Apprentice".
Of course he's going to be hurtful! People watch "The Apprentice" to see him take people down. Duh, he's going to keep doing that if Americans keep paying him to.
We had to take a pre-test of sorts at the beginning and then the same test at the end only with a "What did you learn?" question. My answer went like this:
"I learned from conflict resolution that even the Girl Scouts can be judgmental. Before you start bashing Trump, consider the thousands of jobs for otherwise unemployed American citizens that he provides, and then compare that to how many jobs you've created. You really don't have any right to start attacking him when you hardly measure up to him as a member of the community. By the way, if guns kill people, Rosy's spoon made her fat."
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Ah!
This isn't good. I am not looking forward to the 230-point Constitution test tomorrow. Ohhh crap. I've been studying all day since I got home from ASB, and only stopped to eat and to write this. I finally memorized all the amendments and vocab, but still have some odd questions here and there. I have a Rowland test tomorrow too, which luckily is over chemistry, the one science thing I'm actually good at (I pretty much bomb science the rest of the time).
For the people who missed ASB Lit. today, we took the "Young Goodman Brown" Quiz and made-up all those missed Literary Term Tests. We also took down notes for "Young Goodman Brown" and summarized it. You need to read Poe's bio and "The Cask of Amontillado" for Tuesday, where you can, of course, expect a quiz over the material along with any make-up tests you may need to take.
A queer photo of Nathaniel Hawthorne -
"And his young wife Faith..." Ha, ha, ha...
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Disorder in the Court
I don't often like chain mails, but sometimes if they strike me as interesting I'll share them with others. This is a chain mail I recently received:
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Betty.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidd'in me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was ______ ____!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidd'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you
like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No. ;
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law
Illegal Immigration
In English today, Clink put a huge run-on that we had to correct up on the overhead projector. It had something to do with a guy named Slim looking out over a prairie feeling good because in an hour he was going to have reached the Rio Grand. She then chose volunteers to share how they rewrote it. I composed mine and decided to share it with the class. It went something like this:
Slim, a Mexican hoping to illegally cross our border and steal our hard-earned tax dollars, looks across the lonely prairie knowing that within an hour he'll arrive at a sanctuary run by un-American, Liberal extremists. He feels good inside while thousands of sick children all over America can't get efficient service because unlawful immigrants are clogging up our healthcare system.
It was pretty heartily, until Clink decided to point out I focused too much on voice rather than sentence fluency. Whatever!
Here are some stats from a 2006 FBI report:
12 Americans are murdered every day by illegal aliens. (that’s more than 21,900 murders by illegal aliens since September 11, 2001)
13 people per day are killed by illegal immigrants who drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol. An additional 4,745 premature deaths per year.
62% of all “undocumented immigrants” in the United States are working for cash and not paying taxes, predominantly illegal aliens, working without a green card.
95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
83% of warrants for murder in Phoenix are for illegal aliens.
86% of warrants for murder in Albuquerque are for illegal aliens.
75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles, Phoenix, and Albuquerque are illegal aliens.
More than 380,000 “anchor babies” born in the United States in 2005 were to parents who are illegal aliens; making those 380,000 babies automatically U.S. citizens. 97.2% of all costs incurred from those births were paid by the American taxpayer.
More than 66% of all births in California are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
24.9% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
40.1% of all inmates in Arizona detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
48.2% of all inmates in New Mexico detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
29% (630,000) of the inmates in all state and federal prisons are illegal aliens—at a cost of $1.6 billion annually.
More than 53% of all investigated burglaries reported in California, New Mexico, Nevada, Arizona, and Texas are perpetrated by illegal aliens.
More than half of all gang members in Los Angeles are illegal aliens from south of the border.
More than 43% of all Food Stamps issued are to illegal aliens.
More than 41% of all unemployment checks issued in the United States are to illegal aliens.
58% of all welfare payments in the United States are issued to illegal aliens.
Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties in the United States are illegal aliens.
14 out of 31 TV stations in L.A. are Spanish-only.
16 out of 28 TV stations in Phoenix are Spanish only.
15 out of 24 TV stations in Albuquerque are Spanish-only.
More than 34% of Arizona students in grades 1-12 are illegal aliens.
More than 24% of Arizona students in grades 1-12 are non-English speaking.
More than 39% of California students in grades 1-12 are illegal aliens.
More than 42% of California students in grades 1-12 are non-English speaking.
In Los Angeles County, 5.1 million people speak English and 3.9 million speak Spanish.
More than 71% of all apprehended cars stolen in 2005 in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, and California were stolen by illegal aliens or transport “coyotes.”
47% of cited/stopped drivers in California have no license, no insurance, and no registration for the vehicle. Of that 47%, 92% are illegal aliens.
63% of cited/stopped drivers in Arizona have no license, no insurance, and no registration for the vehicle. Of that 63%, 97% are illegal aliens.
66% of cited/stopped drivers in New Mexico have no license, no insurance, and no registration for the vehicle. Of that 66%, 98% are illegal aliens.
Less than 2% of illegal aliens in the United States are picking crops, but 41% are on welfare.
Over 70% of the United States annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida, and New York) results from illegal immigration, at a cost of nearly $68,000,000,000 annually.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Favorite Post #14
For those who missed ASB Lit. today, we finished "The Birthmark" in the abridged form, read Nathaniel Hawthorne's biography, and took the literary terms test if you were there on Thursday. Any make-up tests/quizes will be this Thursday, along with a five-question quiz over "Young Goodman Brown" (so make sure you read it!). Now that everyone has the URL of this site, if you miss you'll still be obliged to be ready for the next meeting.
Monday, January 21, 2008
MLK Day
I'm not sure I agree with having school on MLK day. Administrators back their reasoning up by saying that if we were at home, we probably wouldn't be learning anything about MLK. That's true, but it's really dumb then if we barely do anything MLK related then during the day. We had a one-hour delay schedule so we could watch and movie and then be told how humans are so innately evil (which I completely disagree with). The school could get away with that excuse of us learning about MLK at school if we actually did spend the majority of our time on it, but besides losing a few minutes from each regular class, it was a normal school day. Teachers make a huge deal about it, but they don't follow what they preach then, and we move right along. It irks me.
What I thought was REALLY pathetic though was that at least three people during the day didn't recognize the abbreviation for Martin Luther King Jr.! I was shocked! That really says something that our district doesn't grant us MLK day as a holiday so they can teach us about him, but then the students don't even recognize the shortened name. That pretty much sums up the difference between how much they emphasize prejudice and how much effort the teachers truly put into educating us about it.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Death By Hippo
It’s always a shame when important people die humorously pathetic deaths. It’s one thing of they’re assassinated or die after a long struggle through a terrible disease, but being killed so feebly is truly dishonoring. I came across another one of those demises while I was reading The History of the Ancient World.
Over 5000 years ago, the ruler of the White Kingdom and all of Upper Egypt set out to conquer the Red Kingdom of Egypt. Little did he know that in doing so, his success would build the first empire. This man was Narmer (sometimes known as Menes), whose name quite poetically means “raging catfish” which was truly complimentary since the catfish was considered the most aggressive of fish.
Narmer began the first dynasty of the now united Egyptian civilization as recorded by the priest Manetho. According to Herodotus, Narmer celebrated the awesome victory by constructing a new capital, Memphis, meaning “White Walls”. From this city, the kings of Egypt (up until the capital changed to Thebes during the end of the First Intermediate Period) could control both the northern delta and the southern valley.
After a sixty-four year reign, he undertook a traditional quest as a display of his power over the enemies of the land to satisfy the peoples’ need for a symbolic victory. Narmer as “Lord of the Two Lands” with the Double Crown atop his head, decided to partake in a hippo hunt, where he was cornered by a hippopotamus and gored on the spot. It was a pretty degrading downfall for a larger-than-life empire-builder.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
EBay
I saw "Oklahoma" last evening at school! I thought it was a lot better then than during school, but they were both great. You could tell that everyone put a lot of effort into the production. Congratulations to everyone it!
I've been looking at some antiques on EBay. What I saw (but of course, didn't bid on) was a sandstone carving of Ramses the Great (my favorite pharaoh!) in the form of a sphinx dating back to 1300 BC. Unfortunately, it had a "buy-it-now" price of 40 grand. Also what caught my attention was a full set of canopic jars in uncommonly good condition. I had no idea that finding something like that would be so simple.
You'd think that artifact dealers (stereotyped at traditionalists) would be one of the last groups to monopolize the Internet for sales, but I was really wrong there I guess.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Stuff!
My Lara Croft movie came in today! Yay! I feel completed!
I don't know why we have school tomorrow. It's so pointless for us (besides the play! That's not pointless!). All we do is watch a movie and go to the awards ceremony. Boring much... I'm going to go see the play in the evening again anyway, so it isn't so useful even in that way.
Sorry my last two posts have been basically make-up work for ASB Lit people. This week's been really busy for me!
For those who missed ASB Literature today -
We got writer biographies from Clink, and I handed out "Pygmalion" packets to follow up on the allusion in the reading. What you'll REALLY want to catch up on though is the terminology for the year. There'll be a quiz over all the terms on Tuesday, however you won't be tested over "Pygmalion" when you get the story. You just need understand how it relates to "The Birthmark".
Here are all of the vocab and their definitions (they'll look exactly like this on the test, so please, please, please print this out and put it with your binder!) -
~ Prose Fiction - Imaginary writing that is not poetry
~ Prose Non-Fiction - Factual writing that is not poetry
~ Iambic Pentameter - Five-beat poetic line
~ Concrete Poetry - Poems written as a pattern that uses a physical arrangement of words to add meaning and effect
~ Free Verse - Without a fixed metrical pattern, usually having unrhymed lines of varying length
~ Biography - Account of somebody's life
~ Autobiography - Account of somebody's life written by that person
~ Conflict - Internal or external opposition
~ Realism - Lifelike representation of people and the world
~ Romanticism - Style using fantasy to bring out the harsh realities of life
~ Naturalism - Style advocating a factual or realistic description of life, including its less pleasant aspects
~ Fatalism - Style of all things and events as inevitable
~ Escapism - Style indulging in fantasies to escape reality
~ Genre - Category of artistic works
~ Romance - Brief and intense love accompanied by the spirit of adventure
~ Personification - A non-human object acting in a human manner
~ Parody - Amusing imitation
~ Parable - Moral or religious story
~ Paradox - Something seemingly absurd or contradictory, but may be true
~ Alliteration - Use of similar consonants at the beginning of a series of words
~ Irony - Humor based on opposites (dramatic, situational, and verbal)
~ Language Usage - Regional dialects by geographical location
~ Simile - Figurative language drawing a comparison between two unlike things (like, as)
~ Metaphor - Making a comparison not meant to be taken literally
~ Oxymoron - Expression with contradictory words
~ Allusion - Indirect reference
~ Narration - Telling a story
~ First Person - Pronouns referring to the speaker or writer
~ Omniscent - Knowledge of all things
~ Objective - Based on fact
~ Assonance - Similarity of two or more vowel sounds
~ Onomatopoeia - Words formed to imitate a sound
~ Consonance - Similarity of end consonants
~ Masculine Rhyme - Rhyming, monosyllabic words or the final syllables of polysyllabic words
~ Feminine Rhyme - Rhyming that matches two or more syllables
~ Approximate Rhyme - Rhymes that are close, but not exact
~ Metonymy - Use of a word for a concept
~ Internal Rhyme - Rhymes within a single line
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Literature Make-Up
For people who had to miss the Academic Super Bowl meeting and are on the Literature team, you need to read Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Birthmark” for Thursday’s practice, enough that you understand the basic plot. You can get the reading from the manila folder that Clink gave you, or you can go to www.online-literature.com/hawthorne/125/. There’ll be a small, five-question quiz over it to make sure everyone is on the same page. You’ll also need a binder for the upcoming meeting, preferably with tabs.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Presidential Salary
Did anyone besides me have no idea that our president earns $400,000 a year, not to mention many other assorted priveleges and benefits?
Our commander-in-chief also has a $50,000 expense account, whatever that is. Shouldn't our president's expenses be coming from his salary? Among his numerous other benefits is a $100,000 nontaxable travel account, a sweet $19,000 dole for entertainment, and exclusive access to White House maids. Oops... did that slip out?
When they retire, presidents are now receiving a $183,500 pension! Presidents will also receive addition post-reign mailing bonuses and travel funds. Let's not even start about bodyguards. The Secret Service protect former presidents and their families up to ten years after leaving office!
I personally am a little ticked that if Hillary becomes president (God forbid!), she'll get $569,000 from a multitude of categories, a very respectable pension, and a variety of other benefits, from mailing services to manservants.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
=(
My mom accidentally donated my "Tomb Raider: Triangle of Light" movie to the Salvation Army. I'd been planning on watching it today, so that stunk. I ordered one online so I could get it soon!
I'm anxious for Tomb Raider: Underworld, the next game in the series. My video game experience is limited to Mine Sweeper, Chess Master, and Tomb Raider, so this is big stuff for me. Can't wait...
They changed her style though! Her hair is in a ponytail instead of braided! =(
"Deliciously" Random Facts
Here are some "deliciously" random facts from The Best Book Of Useless Information Ever:
~ Penguins can jump six feet out of water.
~ Everyone is color-blind at birth.
~ Iceland consumes the most Coca-Cola per capita, not the United States.
~ There are more than 3,500 bras hanging behind the bar at Hogs and Heifers, a bar in Manhattan. So many, in fact, that they caused a beam to collapse in the ceiling.
~ Humans fart an average of once per hour.
~ Texas is the only state that allows residents to cast absentee ballots from space.
~ The fertility rate in states that voted for George W. Bush is 12 percent higher than states that favored John Kerry in the 2004 presidential election.
~ During Bill Clinton's entire eight-year presidency, he only sent two e-mails. One was to John Glenn when he was aboard the space shuttle, and the other was a test of the e-mail system.
~ In his youth, Tony Blair was in a rock band.
~ The founder of the FBI, Charles Joseph Bonaparte, was the grandnephew of Napolean.
~ Norwegian politician Trond Helleland was once caught playing games on a handheld computer during a debate in parliament.
And finally...
~ The day after President Bush was re-elected in 2004, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Ferrets
It looks like we'll be getting a ferret! Yay! We've been trying to think of some names for it. So far I've heard/came up with -
~ David (thanks, Turtles) =P
~ Ricochet
~ Euphemus
~ Phoebus
~ Thessalus
~ Talus
~ Tullius
~ Cicero
~ Posca
Cleopatra's Needles
In London, there's an obelisk on the banks of Thames River, known as "Cleopatra's Needle", which, oddly enough, has nothing to do with Cleopatra.
"...[Cleopatra's Needle] having been erected [that joke never gets old among writers] in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis in 1450 BC on the orders of the pharaoh Thutmose III." - The Best Book of Useless Information Ever
Beneath the base of the monument is a time capsule. It contains a set of British currency, a railway guide, a Bible, and twelve portraits of the prettiest women in England.
A fact uncommonly known, is that there are actually two Needles of Cleopatra, both made of red granite from Syrene (now present-day Aswan). They were both constructed in Heliopolis, and then carted off by Alexander the Great to Alexandria. 2,100 years later, the obelisks would be disturbed again by the Egyptian khedive, Ismali Pasha. He sent them to England the United States as gifts. The English one resides on the shore of the Thames and the American one is in New York City.
While I watched "National Treasure 2", I thought that's what they were referring to by "the twins across the sea". Not quite...
On a side note, I got the "Stardust" soundtrack a few days ago. It's really good! I'd definitely recommend it, especially if you liked the movie. (And if you haven't seen the movie, you have to see that too!)
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
¡Congrats!
First thing I want to say is congrats to everyone who participated in the spelling bee! Everyone did REALLY well. Even those who just started studying seriously.... last night. All the same, we accomplished our #1 goal! =)
Woot-Woot!
For Shoetopia Citizen -
W00t-W00t!Yup, so anyway I saw this awesome article in my news bulletin today. A Boy Scout in the Maldives saved their president from an assassination attempt. The boy in full uniform was about to shake the hand of the president when a man lunged forward with a knife wrapped in a Madivian flag when the boy leapt into the assassin's path and took a cut to the hand but will be OK. For those who don't know, the Maldives is a vastly Islamic-Sunni (I'm assuming the boy was Muslim, considering his name was Mohammed) country, and this just goes to show that Muslims are nothing like the image people generally portray them as.
Also in the news was something less appealing, but interesting all the same. In an international poll, only 80% of Americans voted that they loved America. The truly sad thing is that Kenya and the Ivory Coast both had higher American-loving percentages. What is a country where others likes them better than they like themselves? Pretty pathetic I think, and it doesn't take a Conservative to realize that! (Just kidding!)
In poltics, John Kerry is choosing to support Obama rather than his old campaign bud, John Edwards. A little bit unorthodox, but nothing new for the political world!
Random Fact - Saudi Arabia produces the most petroleum, but on America's oil importation list Saudi Arabia comes in third behind Mexico and Canada.
On the subject of randomness, my 2008 calendar is ferret themed! =)
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Academic Super Bowl
Yay! The Academic Super Bowl season started yesterday! Literature will kick butt as usual, and I'm doing Math as well this year. We have to be conference champs again, so we can elevate our status to 3-time champions. Woot-woot!
Oh, and Spelling Bee is tomorrow! I'm psyched, ha, ha... Nerdy I know, but they have "light refreshments" afterwards, so that's why I'm doing it! =)
Did you know a genealogist once claimed to have proof that Elvis Presley and Oprah Winfrey were distant cousins?
There were some thieves in Gomel, Belarius who stole a public toilet, but with a man still locked inside of it.
The January practice schedule -
Monday, January 7, 2008
Some Random Facts
I've been flipping through The Best Book of Useless Information Ever and found some interesting stuff:
~ Natural gas has no odor, the scent is added so that leaks can be detected.
~ There is an average of two earthquakes every minute in the world.
~ Clay Aiken is allergic to mushrooms, shellfish, chocolate, mint, and coffee.
~ Madonna likes to sing "Truly Scrumptious" from hit musical "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" to her children.
~ Chimpanzees will hunt ducks if given the opportunity.
~ Navy SEALs are taught to urinate in their pants during cold-water training to stay warm.
~ As of January 2004, the U.S. economy borrows an average of 1.4 billion dollars a day from foreign investors.
~ A Brazilian politician lost his seat over allegations that he offered voters free Viagra in exchange for their support.
~ Quebec City, Canada has about as much street crime as Disney World.
~ Two-thirds of the world's kidnappings occur in Colombia.
~ The average pregnancy of an Indian elephant lasts 650 days.
~ Some polar bears turn green as a result of algae growing in their fur.
~ Male skiers are more likely to fall on their face, while female skiers are more likely to fall on their back.
~ The heaviest sumo wrestler was 560 pounds.
~ There is no "Spanish rice" in Spain.
~ The Statue of Liberty's fingernails weigh about 100 pounds apiece.
Cute squirrels!
News and Stuff
For anyone who is interested in "feeling the squeeze", I put the Official Hillary Nutcracker Site on the blog's favorites list. Even if your not into poltics, you'll want to check this out.
This just made me think actually. Can you imagine a world without Hillary Clinton? That would be so sad! I'd have lost a lot of laughs if she didn't exist. She may have failed the world as a politician, but she does make for great entertainment.
IT'S CRUNCH TIME!
I saw this awesome t-shirt today! I felt so stupid. It took me a little bit to figure it out...
GLOBAL WARMING is not COOL.
My Internet new bulletin asked "Is Britney Bipolar?" Ha, ha... that's not her problem... Also in the news, their are some new allegations against Tom Cruise proposed in a new book, Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography, that claim his daughter Suri isn't actually his daughter among other things. It also apparently did a lot of bashing on his Scientology beliefs. I usually try to keep my thoughts on other religions to myself, but I am sorry, the world did evolve from a clam and there is no way you can get your soul "audited" so that you can perform telekinesis.
Ziggy showed up today!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Sweeney Todd
I saw "Sweeney Todd" today! I thought it was really good! The "graphic violence" is obviously animated, so I personally didn't think it was exactly an "R" rated movie. Mrs. Lovett was funny too. It was pretty surprising that Johnny Depp could sing well. Everyone has been saying that, and they were right. And the guy who played Snape (Snape... Snape... Severus Snape...) in Harry Potter was the judge in this movie. He wasn't too bad at singing either. I won't get into any more details in case anyone hasn't seen it yet.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Reason to Celebrate
Hillary lost in the Iowa caucas! Woot-woot! She's been making quite a few unnecessary remarks concerning Obama since her stinging defeat, but just proclaimed herself "the most innocent campaigner". Whatever! =P
Also, Britney Spears lost custody of her children to her ex-husband. Her life (if she ever could have been considered as having one) has been on the decline ever since her divorce. She's been posing nude for photos, appearing drunk and out of control in public, shaving her head, spending time in rehab, and my personal favorite which I someday hope to accomplish, viciously attacking cars with umbrellas.
Britney releasing her wrath on this car that is quite innocent-looking, or at least more than Hillary -
Hillary, looking.... innocent? -
Thursday, January 3, 2008
¿Racist?
In my dad's business, we are always extremely cautious of all customers, but we are even more alert when we work with African-American buyers. That's not because we are racist, but because of simple facts.
According to the Department of Justice, African-Americans make up roughly 12% of America's population, and yet about 44% of the incarcerated population of America is African-American. The 2000 census showed a dramatic, racial disproportion of the population in jail. In every one of the 46 states and 4 commonwealths of the America, the percentage of blacks in prison exceeds the percentage of resident African-Americans. In 20 states, the percentage of blacks in jail is five times greater than the percentage of resident African-Americans. I don't think those are racist statements, they're facts, and because of it we are most watchful around African-Americans. It's definitely not unwarranted either.
Along with the other stores in the gun industry, our shop once was targeted by the Vice Lords. The Vice Lord Nation is the second-largest and oldest of Chicago street gangs, but now have considerable numbers in many cities, including Indianapolis. Their total estimated population is over 30,000, the majority of which are African-American with a growing number of Hispanics. They vandalized our mailbox by leaving us a lovely gang emblem. It didn't quite give us the impression of fear I think they were trying to radiate, considering that the spray paint was pink. =)
American Population By Race -
Incarcerated Population By Race -
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
This Month In History
¡¡¡Happy New Year!!!
This month in history...
~ ...230 years ago, while searching for a Northwest Passage, Captain James Cook discovers Hawaii.
~ ...220 years ago, Britain establishes the first penal (ha, ha... SPELL BOWL!!!) colony in Australia.
~ ...190 years ago, Lord Byron sends the fourth and final section of his famous poem, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage to his publisher.
~ ...160 years ago, James Marshall discovers gold flakes in the channel leading off from the sawmill he was building for John Sutter near Coloma, California. The word spread the population of the state exploded from 14,000 to 100,000 in a matter of two years.
~ ...75 years ago, The Lone Ranger premieres for the first time on Detroit's WXYZ radio station. The show would become a popular subject, claiming a television show, comics, and books and would lead to a new, romantisized concept of the American West.
~ ...60 years ago, Burma gains its independence from Britain in a coup stirred by communist groups and ethnic minorities. This would usher in a new era of a repressive, socialist government.
A p-e-n-a-l colony (LOL!) -
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