I took the SAT this morning. We had to do this whole thing where we swear not to discuss the subjects of the questions or essay at all, otherwise I'd tell you how dumb the topics were. They try to find things that are SO boring that nobody could possibly know anything about them beforehand. It'd be so much more entertaining if they had fun stories about Hillary or someone else equally amusing. Well that would make the topic at least more relatable than the history and cultivation of pond scum in South America (that was one of last year's ACT topics so I can share it!), which is almost as dry as arguing with a Liberal!
Top 10 Reasons Being Conservative Is More Fun Than Being Liberal –
10. We can oppose illegal immigration, and still love Taco Bell.
9. We choose exciting title heads like “I Am Woman, Hear Me Bore” (about Hillary, by Ann).
8. We don’t have to stoop so low as to falsify wiki articles about Liberal leaders.
7. We can sleep with a clean conscience knowing that not only do we insult Liberals, we enjoy doing it. Liberals have to bore-ify everything by sucking the fun out of debates (i.e. conflict resolution).
6. We can suggest things like baby licenses (one of my favorite ideas by Glenn!) and say things like, “Taunting Liberals is like having a pet that does tricks. Sit! Beg! Shake!” (Thanks Ann!)
5. “DENNY CRANE.” We have “Boston Legal”, the T.V. show with the richest, most Conservative audience.
4. We don’t have to listen to the hybrid-driving, socialistic Greenpeace. Not only do we promote needlessly consuming fossil fuels, we then can laugh at the “imminent demise of the world” and fire back with insane stats such as, “The rise of CO2 emissions has led to 98% less deaths from extreme weather in the four-year span between 2000 and 2004.” (An Inconvenient Book)
3. We can shoot our friends and get away with it. (Not that I'd ever shoot any of my friends; it's just an interesting skill of ours.)
(The Liberals may want to grab their Kleenex or curl up in the corner now) …
2. Our not-so-secret weapon… Ann. =]
1. When we argue, we get guns!
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