Favorite Post #4

Mmmmhhhmmm...

Tags: Favorite Article

Ramses the Great

If you've been reading this blog long enough, you no doubt know my passion (I prefer that to "obsession", which perhaps too adverse) for Ramses II (below, atop his chariot), or also known as Ramses the Great.  I had been flipping through my copy of Chronicle of the Pharaohs (yup, I'm a history nerd), and was inspired to write about my favorite pharaoh

Ramses II definitely merits his popular title as Ramses the Great.  During his long 67 year reign (about the entire first year of which was a co-regency, but still...), having ascended the throne of Egypt at age 25, everything was done on a grand scale.

"No other pharaoh constructed so many temples or erected so many colossal statues and obelisks."

Ha, ha... I found it humorous that they chose the "erected" to describe building the obelisks.  That's another weird history thing, but I'm not going to talk about that...

So anyway, not only did he assemble the most monuments (I've already talked a lot about those in other posts, like Abu Simbel and Karnak pictured below), but he also had the most kids out of all the pharaohs.  By the end of his life, he could boast of over 100 kids!  He took many members of his own family as brides, which wasn't uncommon back then.  One wife was his younger sister, and three others were his own daughters.  And while we're talking about family, it might also be mentioned that it was once rumored the Moses of the Israelites was actually the brother of Ramses the Great, however that's a very debatable point, and isn't thought to be fact by most historians today.

During the first part of his rule, the Hittites on the Egyptian frontier weren't exactly friendly.  During a revolt in only the fourth year of his reign, Ramses summoned to him the greatest army that Egypt had ever seen composed of 20,000 men in four basic divisions of 5,000 each, named respectively after the gods Amun, Re, Ptah, and Seth.

Ramses moved up the Gaza Strip and approached Kadesh where he came across two Hittite spies who confessed that the army was 100 miles north of that point.  Continuing along the march, he came across two more spies who spoke, under torture, that the first two spies had been planted there to confuse the pharaoh, and that the army was actually just on the other side of Kadesh waiting to ambush them.

The Hittite king had assembled an army even greater than that of the Egyptian in two sections of about 18,000 and 19,000.  Not to mention 2,500 charioteers, who broke through the Egyptian lines - scattering the people all over.  Ramses himself was left, and almost killed, but the charismatic king was able to rally a force to resist the attack.  He was saved by his elite guard who had taken a different route from the main army, which forced Muwatallis to fight on two fronts, and eventually to retreat.

The following day was a stalemate, and Muwatallis proposed peace, which Ramses accepted.

Accounts flew of Ramses' personal bravery.  The texts on stelae at the Ramessium elaborates on Ramses riding a chariot and plowing through the Hittite army who would flee at the site of his blood-wrath.  School boys training to be scribes used to copy the words from the Ramessium for practice in writing.

Over the course of his rule, Ramses went on many other Syrian campaigns (5 actually), each time realizing that he couldn't hold the north, just as Muwatallis couldn't hold the south.  The two kings agreed on this, and to seal the deal they exchanged gifts, and Muwtatallis sent Ramses one of his younger daughters to join his harem.  Seven years later, he'd also send his eldest daughter to join her sister.  Ha, ha... we could solve all of our problems if the president would just send one of the Bush girls over to Iraq.  Kidding!  =)

Oh, and there's a little bit of a mystery surrounding the Exodus and the Egyptians.  Throughout all of Egypt'e extensive records, there's not a whiff of anything relating to the "Children of Israel" working as slaves and then escaping.  There's a single record on a victory stela marking a battle fought with the Hebrews.  One theory is that the Egyptians considered the run away slaves immaterial, but according to the Bible when the Jews ran, Ramses sent a huge army in response.  The entire army was subsequently destroyed when the Sea of Reeds collapsed in on the Egyptians after the Hebrews had escaped.  You'd think that would be recorded if it was "huge".

One pretty extremist, but not without credit, reason is that it never happened.  There is no evidence of a person named "Moses" as leader of the Hebrews outside of the Bible and Koran.  The lack of information regarding the escape is a little unsettling too.

Another theory I read on the complete opposite hand of the last one is that the Egyptians were too arrogant too record it.  They didn't want the loss to blemish the record of the glorious Ramses the Great.  It would be a little embarrassing to lose hold of a bunch of slaves after you crushed and made peace with an empire as great as the Hittites.

It's also plausible that we haven't look deep enough into Egyptian history to find the records.  We can't know everything.  There's no doubt there are somethings we haven't discovered yet.  The records may be just lost for the time being.

Ramses on his chariot -

Abu Simbel -

Pictures of Karnak - (Guess which god is in that one just below!)

Tags: Life, History, Bible, Religion, Books

The Swiss Traveler

I wanted to post my main story for my family timeline in Green's history class.  I think it's an interesting story just to red, but if you have any suggestions, please make them!  =)

 

Johann Ludwig Burckhardt was a very famous Swiss explorer who lived from 1784-1817.  Although this his lifetime was marginal, his accomplishments were colossal.  Rumors run through my Burkhalter (spelled many different ways, including Burckhardt) lineage that Johann was the brother of our earliest known ancestor on the Burckhardt side, Christen Burckhardt.  This association would make him my great-great-great-great-great-uncle.  My link to such a consummate person has only pushed my passion for history farther.  His undertakings included discovering the ancient Jordanian city of Petra, being the first European to see the temples at Abu Simbel, and was the only non-Muslim to openly visit the Islamic religious center, Mecca.

 

My distant uncle studied in Germany and later at Cambridge before being sent to Syria as a prerequisite before crossing the Sahara and exploring along the Niger River – the goal of the Association for Promoting the Discovery of the Interior Parts of Africa.  In Syria he took on a Middle Eastern name and learned to speak fluent Arabic as well as becoming an expert in Islamic doctrine.  For two and a half years he lived there, and when the time came for him to move down to West Africa, he began his journey south to Cairo, Egypt before the pilgrimage via the desert.  On the trip he came across a narrow ravine and the Khaznet Firaoun (Pharaoh’s Treasure) – the temple-tomb leading to the remains of Petra known from Biblical and Roman accounts, but the location was lost to modern Europeans.

 

When he finally arrived at his Egyptian destination he found no prospect of a caravan to cross the Sahara.  Looking at the bright side of things, he decided to spend his time traveling up the Nile rather than hang around in the metropolis.  On his trip he became the first the first European to view the Temple to Hathor and the Great Temple at Abu Simbel, just south of Aswan.  The Great Temple is considered the crowning monument of Ramses II, also known as Ramses the Great, one of the most successful pharaohs of Egypt.  When he arrived the four gigantic statues of the Egyptian ruler took were awe-inspiring.  Only an explorer could understand the feeling of such an indescribable discovery.

 

He returned to Cairo and recognized that, yet again, no caravan was ready.  Since he was subjected to further delay, he decided to make a pilgrimage to the Islamic city of Mecca.  The Viceroy of Egypt who knew Uncle Johann by reputation arranged for him be declared a Muslim.  On this pretense he became the first, and perhaps only, non-Muslim to visit Mecca openly.

 

Johann Burckhardt returned to Cairo where he suffered a series of illnesses that left him weakened.  He eventually died in the city of dysentery.  He never did get to cross the Sahara.  He never did explore along the Niger.  He never did visit West Africa.  He did, however, make discoveries that would his age, and many more ages to come, in awe.  He was my uncle.

Tags: Life, History, Genealogy, School

French Jokes

I usually make a lot of French jokes (one of my best friends is French, so it's all in good fun) and so I thought I'd tell you some of them.

~  How many Frenchman does it take to defend Paris? ......... I don't know - it's never happened before.

~  Why are the streets of Paris to beautiful? ......... So the invaders have something nice to look at when they march in.

~  Why do all the French have sunburnt armpits? ......... They raise their hands in surrender to often.

~  1 "I'm selling French muskets for $3,000 a piece"  2 "Wow, why so expensive?" 1 ......... "Well you see, they've never been shot before."

~  Did you know that the French invented the toothbrush? ......... Had anyone else, it would've been called a teethbrush.

~  When was the last, good, French barbecue? ......... 1432, and it involved Joan of Arc.

~  Why don't French barbecue? ......... The snails keep slipping through the grills.

~  How do you get a French waiters attention? ......... Start ordering in German.

~  Why don't French people mind the odor of their smelly cheeses? ......... Well in a room full of Frenchmen, you can't tell the difference.

~  "There is nothing lower than the human race...except for the French." - Mark Twain

~  If you install the French versions of your favorite television programs, they run a lot faster.

~  Why wouldn't the Statue of Liberty work in France? ......... She's only got one arm raised.

I think I should finish this off with a good question...

~  How many jokes are there about the French? ......... One, the rest are true!  =)

Ha, ha... sorry to all the French people out there, but there are some good ones that were begging to be shared.  =)

Below is a picture of the Louvre Museum's main entrance.  I love their pyramid!  =)

Tags: Life, Politics, Jokes, Culture, History

Salamanders

Right now, along with Queen Hazel Marie, I have four pet salamanders (two of which are portrayed below).  They are very cute, but look a little dopey in the picture.  I keep it dark in their tank, because they are nocturnal.  I shined a light on them for better pictures, and they're a little dazed, but they'll be OK.  I don't think they liked the flash very well...

I use the National Audobon Society Field Guide to North American Reptiles and Amphibians to classify my reptilian and amphibian pets.  I've narrowed it down to Blue-Spotted Salamander, Tremblay's Salamander, or Silvery Salamander.  Apparently (according to the book) the Blue-Spotteds and another species called Jefferson's Salamander interbred into two new species, the Tremblays' and the Silveries.  It's definitely not Jefferson, those are too light colored, but they could be either of the two hybrids.  I think they are so dark though that they'd have to Blue-Spotteds.

I'm pretty proud of catching them, because they are known for being very elusive.  Not only are they nocturnal, but they live pretty deep underground.  Pretty much the only way to find them is to look under a lot of logs.  I actually found these four on accident under logs.  I wasn't even looking for them.  I found them in two groups of one and two, and someone else actually found my fourth one.

You've probably heard the Greek myth that salamanders are born from flames.  Well, they used to think this, because the salamanders are so shy, that the only time you ever saw them was when they'd crawl out of decayed logs when you burned them.  See, I found a way to tie it into history!  =)

Tags: Life, Animals, History

Bornean Clouded Leopards

I was reading the latest National Geographic and I flipped to one of my favorite sections, the Wildlife Department.  This time there was a story about a new species of Clouded Leopard (depicted below).  =)

This new species lives in Borneo and Sumatra, and differs in many different characteristics from its mainland relative.  This new species is darker.  It also has smaller "cloud" patterns than the other inland type.  They are also "genetically as different as lions and tigers."

They are very few of the new species, Neofelis diardi, in captivity.  They spend most of their time up in trees, like in the picture.  They are rarely ever seen by people, but the population is still estimated at several thousand.  Poaching and deforestation (typical) are their major threats to the Clouded Leopards, both island and mainland.  =(

Below is the tree kangaroo from the September issue as a review for the bottom poll.  =)

Tags: Life, Animals, National Geographic

Ambrose Serle

I was reading 1776 this morning (pictured below, I realized I hadn't scanned it onto the journal yet) and was being illuminated about a Loyalist known as Ambrose Serle.

Serle was secretary to Admiral Richard Howe, who had a very amsuing nickname, but I can't post it unfortunately.  If your bored someday, google "Admiral Howe's Nickname".  Ha, ha... anyway... Admiral Howe and his brother General William Howe (commander-in-chief of the "lobster-backs" (called that due to the red uniforms that the British wore) in North America) were leaders in the effort to crush the rebel forces.

When the Brits were in New York posted at Staten Island they heard news of the Declaration of Independence.  This served only to underscore "the villany and madness of these deluded people," said Serle, "A more impudent, false, and atrocious proclamation was never fabricated by the hands of man."

This may have only been one Loyalist, but I'd bet most of them felt the same way.  You almost have to pity them, because they don't realize like we do the concept of liberty.  It's too different, and too much of change to for them to admit to themselves that something so drastically unlike to what they were used to, that they'd define it as insanity (recurring theme?).  They didn't bother to do their homework and consider something new.

In their defense, though, not all Loyalists felt that way.  There were some who felt the power of monarchy needed to be subdued, but didn't want to go as far as outright revoltion.

This just goes to show how confused people can be if they don't look at things from a different perspective.

Oh, and something else a little whacky I read about the American Revolution.  The two Howe brothers were not only in charge of leading the war against the colonists, but also conflictingly assigned the position of peace commissioners.  Not only were they shooting us, they were sending Congress letters lobbying for a peaceful resolution - just a little inconsistent.

The Ball Game

Which gods like a good ball game?

 

This a myth (and history lesson) that sports fans may appreciate.  Think your games are high stakes, well they really don’t compare to the Maya game, known simply as “The Ball Game” (pictured below, top).

 

It probably originated during the times of the Olmec, the Aztec word Olmec meaning “the people who use rubber”.  The game is played in a court about 153 by 38 yards, the largest of these at the ancient ruins of Chichén Itzá (below, middle).  At each end is a steeply sloped wall inset with disks.  You compete (two teams; player illustrated below, bottom) to knock a rubber ball through.  Other styles of the game included markers that could be hit to score points.

 

It may sound easy, but there are two twists.  One is that you cannot use your arms or feets, so you have to use your knees, hips, or elbows to bounce the ball off the walls.  The second is that the ball touching the ground usually ends the match.  Playing may be difficult, but losing is harder.  Losers were often sacrificed.

 

Although there is an obvious overtone of viciousness and brutality, underscoring the general mindset is a dramatic and epic reenactment of an ancient battle between two sets of twins and the Mayan lords of the underworld.  The story (abridged) goes something like this:

 

The first set of twins was playing the ball game one day, when the noisedisturbed the gods of Xibalba, or Mayan Hell.  The demon deities invited the brothers down to the underworld to play the game with them.  The gods flat out cheated, killing the two boys, and placing the head of one in a tree as a warning to other disrupters.

 

One death-goddess became fascinated by the head and, after further examination, discovered it could speak.  It commanded her to reach out her hand, and the head subsequently spat on it, impregnating her.  She gave birth to two, semi-divine hero-boys.

 

Their godly heritage was apparent during their growth.  They grew abnormally rapidly, hunted exceptionally well, and performed miracles.  One day they discovered their father’s sport equipment, and decided to play.  Again, they disturbed the netherworld gods and were invited down to Hell to play with the demons there.  This time, the twins outsmarted the divinities, and after a series of elusions of the gods’ schemes, they tricked and killed the demons.

 

The twins were rewarded with immortality, becoming the Sun and the Moon.

 

Every time the game is played, it’s a drama, simulating the epic combat between the twins and demons, or metaphorically speaking – Death itself.  A story of humans conquering Death can be moving and inspiring thousands of years ago.

In all fairness, however, the Maya weren’t all about sacrifice - just as all other cultures also have a deeper, more modernly acceptable culture.  The Mayahad a system of writing, advanced astronomical knowledge, and an intense understanding of the cycles of Nature.  They believed that their pantheon of deities needed sustenance – human flesh.  The sacrifices, they believed, fed the gods and allowed Nature to stay in balance.  Should it fall out, then that would mean certain death.  I’m not trying to defend human sacrifice, but really, if you lived back then, and that’s what had been happening for as long as anyone knew, you’d probably agree with it too.  You thought that you’d be doing someone a great honor, because dying by sacrifice was one of the few ways the Maya believed you could get to heaven.

 

 

Tags: Life, History, Religion, Entertainment

Ride the Rail

Americans have not always been the good-guys.  That’s a very interesting idea, because as we may claim that it’s all for the cause, or “the greater good”, it hasn’t always been so.  There have always been (and probably always will be) people who have to put dirt to our good name as American citizens.

 

During the American Revolution, I definitely think we were on the right side defending liberty, but we didn’t always treat, law-abiding, king-devoted Loyalists fairly.  Sometimes we were even more brutal then they were.  That was one reason that we inspired so much fear in the heart of the British.  They were professional soldiers and considered themselves above the “unorganized rabble” that the Continental Army was often referred to as.  Colonist mobs used methods varied from simple beatings to tar-and-feathering, candle burning (S…L…O…W), and “rail-riding”.

 

Until recently, I was ignorant to the method of punishment known as rail-riding.  A man (British Loyalist) was forced to straddle a sharp fence rail section held on the shoulders of two men, with other men holding the victim’s legs so that he had to stay straight.  In this manner he was paraded through the town thus “riding the rail”.

 

We can’t defend our dignity considering slavery either.  That was just wrong.  And again – not all Americans had slaves, that was mostly in the South, but still… Americans haven’t always been right.

 

Even today, Americans, and even other international Christians, have gone all “Anti-Islam”, but the two Muslims I know personally can be a lot nicer than some Christians I know.  I can understand America being Anti-Terrorist, but being Anti-Islam is really screwed up.

 

I remember a while ago someone telling me that all Christians hate all Muslims, and all Muslims hate all Christians; that’s how it’s always been and that’s how it always will be.

 

That’s dead wrong.  Pre-Crusade Christians and Muslims used to actually at show enough respect to tolerate each other, but now, we are both being dumb enough to throw it all away.  That’s absolutely retarded.

I also know a Hindu girl, who is a very intelligent computer engineer.  She’s dating my cousin and they are going to India for Christmas; I’m really jealous!  =P

Tags: Life, History, Religion, Politics

Celebrity Quotes

Inside each of us (or at least me) there lies a special place for the sole purpose of storing the most idiotic and senseless sayings.  I wanted to open that up and share a few of these with you.

President George W. Bush -

"I think we can agree.  The past is over." (1)

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another." (2)

"The law I sign today directs new funds... to the task of collecting vital intelligence... on weapons of mass production." (3)

"It will take time to restore chaos and order." (4)

"Natural gas is hemispheric... because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhood." (5)

Ha, ha... here are some from a variety of people -

When asked if she resented dumb blonde jokes, Dolly Parton fervently responded, "No, for two reasons.  One, I know I'm not dumb.  Two, I know I'm not blonde."

"I love my job because I get to travel to really far away places like Canada." - Brittany Speares.

"I'm not really dumb... or... well... like... it's like... I don't know... like... an act... I guess - to be cool...  I don't know." - Paris Hilton

During a Republican gathering, First Lady Laura Bush was giving a speech describing the accomplishments of her husband.  Her words began, "Well, there's not much to say..."

"As I was telling my husb--- As I was telling President Bush..." - Condoleezza Rice

"The Internet is a gateway to get on the Net." - Bob Dole

"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Charles de Gaulle

Here are some interesting newspaper headlines -

"Police Suspicious After Body Found in Graveyard"

"Male Infertility Can Be Passed on to Children"

"Include Your Children When Baking Cookies"

"British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands"

"Stolen Painting Found by Tree"

"War Dims Hope for Peace"

"House Passes Gas Tax on to Senate"

"Milk Drinkers Turn to Powder"

"Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted"

"Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon"

"Never Withold Herpes from Loved One"

"Whatever Their Motives, Moms Who Kill Kids Still Shock Us"

"Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find"

"Malls Try to Attract Shoppers"

"Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years"

"Bible Church's Focus Is the Bible"

"Economist Uses Theory to Explain Economy"

"Lawyer Says Client Is Not That Guilty"

"Alzheimer's Center Prepares for an Affair to Remember"

I think those are great.  If you want more hilarious quotes and other snipets, I suggest 1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said by Steven D. Price.  =)

I thought you might like those.

Tags: Life, Quotes, Celebrities, Politics, Entertainment, Books

Johnny Tremain - A Historical Joke

Recently after ISTEP testing we've been watching the Disney movie "Johnny Tremain".

"It's a tall oak tree - a tall oak tree..." (Describing the Liberty Tree, the symbol of the Sons' of Liberty freedom movement)

You've probably heard that irksome song before.  But from reading 1776, I found it pretty humorous considering that during a multi-month stand off between the British and the Colonists, the Americans-to-be had to actually burn the Liberty Tree for firewood when they ran out.  It was also gave me great pains to hear them call it an oak tree when it reality it was an elm.  Ouch... It's kind of humorous to see the washed-up version that Disney presents.

You can consider yourself a history guru if you caught the "Knox Books" sign as the exterior of the small business owned by the future General Henry Knox.  He actually was well acquainted with General Nathaniel Green before the war, due to the fact that Gen. Green (from Rhode Island) ordered his militaristic books from Knox's bookstore - an interesting coincidence.  Gen. Green, the youngest man of his rank in Washington's staff, knew of war only from his reading.  He had absolutely no military experience, but proved to be arguably Washington's most accomplished human resource.

It was still a fun movie, but historically inept at best.  =)

Below is a random picture of my cat's (Queen Hazel Marie's) paw.

I didn't include "Pirates" because I knew everyone would vote for that one!  Sorry, Alwaysbored!  =)

Tags: Life, History, Movies, Books

Favorite Post #3

Duh.  =)

Tags: Favorite Article

Mounds

In my woods someone had found a Miami arrowhead (I showed it to Green), which inspired me to look for some more artifacts.

Just this last weekend I think I've found three (maybe more) Native American mounds (one of which is pictured below) in the forest.  Mr. Green thinks they might be, but unfortunatelyI can't excavate them.  If they are burial sites, then technically that would be grave robbing.  Indian burial sites still belong the tribe, or at least that's what Mr. Green told me.

So I'm in a bit of predicament, because I want to look into them, but if there were bodies there, I'd have a bit of problem.  I'm not sure what to do, but I'd really like to dig them out.  Erggg... it's bothering me.

That would be really neat to find something - it's so tempting.  I don't want some Green club coming out and claiming my glory if it is something (which we aren't eveb 100% positive of yet).  I've never found anything before, the arrowhead was found by someone else who graciously gave it to me.  I don't know what to do...

It's not the most spectacular looking mound ever, but this area of the woods is relatively flat (as can be for untamed growth), and three of these are just like BAM!  I think they are all about 2-3 feet high off the ground and are about as long as a human would be.  We'll see...

Tags: Life, History, Archaeology

Borders

I love Borders.  =)

I always spend to much when I go there, though.  They have the best carrot cake ever there, too!  =)

Last time I got two new books that look really good In the Footsteps of Alexander the Great (below, on the top) and Akhenaten: Egypt's False Prophet (below, middle).  The former of which looks super cool!  The author follows the march of Alexander the Great and his troops and records his findings.  It's kind of like a modern version of The Histories.  Apparently it was also made into a T.V. show.  Hmmm...

Oh, and I was so happy, because my random culture facts actually were useful when I was browsing through the History/Politics section (Hey!  Don't laugh!  =P).  They had this awesome looking translation of The Histories, but I already have that so I didn't get it.  It had Leonidas at Thermopylae on the front of it, the painting I posted by Jacques-Louis David.  I was so proud of myself for recognizing it!  =)

I should get a paycheck from the store for all the books that I advertise!  =)

Oh, and I made this sweet new desktop.  It's a picture of my room and you can see the rest below.  HINT: Look at the desktop (on the computer).

Tags: Life, Books, T.V., History

Adam Weishaupt and the Illuminati

What's a German Canon Professor Doing Masterminding the World?

Adam Weishaupt was baptized, born, and raised a Roman Catholic.  He became a professor of canon law at a university in Bavaria, a state in southeastern Germany.  His lectures were always suspect by the orthodox clergymen.  However, in his own private life, he went a little further than that.

Prof. Weishaupt was not only an educator, but also was leader of the chairman of the fear-inspiring organization known as the Illuminati, Anti-Jesuit (typical) in nature and claiming specific enlightenment that gave them exculsive access to the illumination of Jesus.

Often exaggerated, at first the membership comprised of 5 members.  Weishaupt sent out secret publications to the members under the alias of "Spartacus", the Roman gladiator.  He believed that he and his groupies could undermine all the religious and state governments and rule the world, thus installing a utopian regime on all earth.

The society soon increased beyond its origin 5 members to, at one time, about 2,500.  Weishaupt decided that the organization should infiltrate their brother in fraternities (no put intended), the Freemasons.  After all, they claimed common values of tolerance and understanding between people of different religious views.

The Freemasons, however, had no intention of becoming world dominantors, and resented their association with the Illuminati.  Most Freemasons Lodges were just gentlemens' clubs throughout Europe and the colonies with memberships comprised of reknown intellectuals and political and military leaders with an excuse get together and go to the local Irish pub.  There probably weren't any conspiracies behind it - that's just Dan Brown's vivid imagination and the influence of historical spoof movies like National Treasure and Tomb Raider (those are fun movies, but not exactly plausible).

In all honesty, the Illuminati were most likely just a bunch of whack-outed conspirators.  The result is the persecution of the innocent Freemasons, the majority of whom resented their connections with the Illuminati anyway.

The Illuminati society was done away with in 1785, but there's still a Rosicrucian group in California that is sometimes referred to by the name Illuminati.

Below is the picture of the All-Seeing Eye/Eye of Divine Providence on the back of the U.S. dollar bill.  This symbol has inspired  a great amount of speculation among theorists, with outlandish concepts such as masons secretly controlling the U.S. government.  In reality, the unfinished pyramid probably represents the incomplete work of nation-building.  The eye has been a representation of an omniscient God long before Freemasonry (the organization wasn't founded until the early 1700's) and into Italian Renaissance art.

Also, the commonly mentioned Latin phrase "Novus ordo seclorum" has created a lot of rumors.  It is commonly mistranslated into "New World Order", but correctly it means "The New Order of the Ages".

Throughout history, Freemasonry has been considered by many anticlerical or antireligious, however it's never been any such thing.  If anything, it's a religiously tolerant, intellectual and spiritual guild devoted to a get-together at a cafe every other Wednesday, not some demonic and sinister cult as it's usually portrayed.

Tags: Life, Religion, History, Books, Movies, Conspiracies

Good Joke

I heard an awesome joke the other day and just wanted to pass it on!

 

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

 

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

 

They moused.

 

They faxed.

 

They e-mailed.

 

They e-mailed with attachments.

 

They downloaded.

 

They did spreadsheets!

 

They wrote reports.

 

They created labels and cards.

 

They created charts and graphs.

 

They did some genealogy reports

 

They did every job known to man.

 

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

 

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

 

"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

 

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

 

Satan observed this and became irate.

 

"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated!

How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

 

God just shrugged and said,

 

"JESUS SAVES"

 

Ha, ha... just thought I'd share that with you.  =)

Tags: Life, Joke, Religion

Woody: Episode #2

If you recall our friend Woody, the self-proclaimed historian, he recently commented about Vikings having horns on their helmets, which is a myth.  The Vikings never had horns on their headgear as far as we know.  Some pictures portraying, Norse deities, show them with helmets that have wings on them, but never horns.  There are some Celtic (very closely associated with Norse) gods portrayed as having horns on their head, such as Hern/Hern the Hunter/Cernunnos (pictured below holding a traditional Celtic torque in his right hand and a serpent in his left).  It's another motif in mythology for male fertility gods, such as Hern, to have horns on their head.  These are usually rams' horns, but in Hern's case they are the antlers of a stag.

Also pictured below is the Egyptian god of virility known as Amun/Amon (middle), or later as Amun-Ra/Amon-Ra when he and another deity (Ra) were simplified into one god.  Another god, Ares/Aries (bottom, in the constellation format), is the Greek god of war and masculinity.

This fact isn't so commonly known, and I wouldn't dis anyone for not knowing it but this guy, because he actually claims to study history intensely.  I wanted to point it out anyway, so you can look even more cultured at the next cocktail party you go to!  Ha, ha... that's what these random facts are good for - impressing people at parties!  But seriously, the idea of horns represting the male human is a lasting concept that still has an impression on today's society, but it a bit beyond the rating of this blog, and so I won't elaborate on that.

Tags: Life, History, Mythology

Viking Entertainment

Without T.V., Internet, or cell phones - what were people such as the Vikings supposed to do for fun?  Well I'm going to tell you one laughable, but yet very brutal, game played by these Scandanavian barbarians.

Child-stacking was a very simple, entertianing game to play after you pillage a village.  Once you dispatch all the adults, that leaves the kiddies.  What the vicious Vikings would do is take the children and toss them up in the air, and then try to impale the falling bodies on long spears.  Whoever could stack the most tots on a spear would win!

While on the topic ancient cruelty, Celtic sacrifice was also always fascinating.  First of all, the idea of Celtic worship usually summons the idea of rabbits and squirrels hopping serenely through the magical forest with some old guy who sports a fabulous beard.  This Disney cliche is anything but close.

When they weren't storming through Europe, the Celts worshipped in natural settings.  It wasn't uncommon for ceremonies to include using methods such as clubbing, slicing the jugular, garroting, and drowning to sacrifice humans.  The body (or what was left of it) was usually dumped into a bog somewhere, where modern man would excavate it.

In all fairness to the Celts though, they religion (and culture) wasn't entirely about killing, but also contained a complex organization of deities and beliefs that left a lasting impression on today, but I'm saving that story for October (=])!

Druids, or a kind of hereditary priest, would not only do the ritualized killing, but also advise the king, serve as judges in trials, oversee religious ceremonies, study astrology, learn the qualities of many plants, and memorize the tribe's historical records.  These were men of many talents (and yes, they were always men, but there was another class of female sorcerers) - homicidally pathological magistrate-scholars - sounds like modern politicians.

It's pretty gruesome, but also kind of sinisterly interesting in its own special way.

Tags: Life, History, Entertaiment

David Icke and the Reptilian Conspiracy

Recently one of my friends lent me this hilarious book, The Rough Guide to Conspiracy Theories.  There are some pretty weird ones out there, and I wanted to share with you one that particularily stood out.

"Humanity, Icke (former footballer) says, is being controlled, manipulated, and in some cases actually drained of blood by alien reptiles.  These "reptilians" are something like dinosaurs and something like dragons, only vastly more intelligent.  Thanks to their origins as a consciousness from the Fourth Dimension, they are also able to change shape at will.  While Icke's evidence ranges across human and mythological history, from ancient snake worship to modern "eyewitnesses", his proof rests finally on the visions experienced by him and his supporters."

"Using their ability to shapeshift (as well as the relatively conventional practice of inter-marriage) the reptilians have worked their bloodline (or, more specifically, their "reptilian-mammilian DNA combination") into everything from the all-powerful Illuminati to powerful families such as the Bushes, the Rockefellers, and the Rothschilds - and the Windsors.  (Some suspect that beneath Icke's idea of a racial - albeit lizard-race - conspiracy involving banking and political families lies a deeply anti-Semitic subtext.  Others think his idea is so mad that he must the front man for a conspiracy to give conspiracy theories a bad name)."

Ha, ha!  Wow... someone must've bashed him a few too many times in the head during his football career!

Also, in the words of David Icke, "Green politics is not about being far left or far right, but being far-sighted."  Ha, ha... too much fun.

Tags: Life, Conspiracy Theories

Henny Penny and the Hypnotism Incident

Recently you probably heard (if you have Mr. C) about chicken hypnotizing.  Well I couldn't resist.  I went over to my neighbors house and (with their permission) hypnotized the family chicken, Henny Penny (below, picture of random chicken from google that looks like Henny Penny).  It was hilarious.  She just stayed there - staring forward.  It was kind of creepy, but still awesome.  We got it on camera recording, but with my dumb Internet, it would take me ages until I finally uploaded the files to the blog.

If you don't go to my school and were interesting in hypnotizing a chicken near you, here's the process:

1.  Be friends with your chicken - the next step won't work if its afraid of you.  It will also work best at twilight, and also on chickens rather than roosters.

2.  Hold the chicken's wings to its body, and lay it gently down on on one wing so that you have one hand firmly on the top side and the ground against its opposite side.  I do it with my left hand holding it and my right hand free.

3.  Next begin tracing an imaginary line away from its beak and then pull back and do it again until the chicken feels relaxed and keeps staring straight at your finger.

4.  Slowly let go with the hand holding it down and retreat away from it.  The chicken should stay there looking straight ahead.  Eventually it'll snap out of it, or if something suddenly passes in front of it, it'll also wake up from its trance.

Have fun with that!

Tags: Life, Animals

King Brickley III

The funniest thing ever happened at lunch today.  One of my friends picked up 1776 and was flipping through it, and it finally rested on a picture of King George III, which looks oddly similar to my Algebra I teacher.  It was hilarious.

If you don't know Mr. Brickley, he's a picky, perverted coot who's very... disturbing.  He sits very awkwardly to put it in the most G-rated fashion I can think of.  He also has milkshake parties, and the ratio of girls to boys is about 5:1.  Ya.  It's scary.

So we all looked at this picture, and well, they not only look alike, but sit in the same disgusting style (actually the picture's is less gross).  Ha, ha...  I just thought everyone'd get a kick out of this.

Tags: Life, School, Teachers, Books

The Useless Information Society

In 1995, a secret society was formed comprising Britain's foremost thinkers, writers, and artists to explore the world's most bizarre nooks and crannies and to trade and share useless information (or, as founding member Keith Waterhouse, playwright and journalist, would have it, "totally bloody useless")-usually over a pint or two at a local pub.  Now, The Useless Information Society shares its findings with American readers in this first of what they threaten will be several volumes.

That excerpt above is the back of The Book of Useless Information, whose enigmatic mascot, the squirrel, takes up the first page with some random facts:

~ It is estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels every year.

~ Squirrels can climb trees faster than they can run on the ground.

~ Squirrels may live fifteen or twenty years in captivity, but their life span in the wild is often only about one year.  They fall prey to disease, predators, cars, and humans.

~ A squirrel cannot contract or carry the rabies virus.

Just something different...

Tags: Life, Useless Information, Books

Favorite Article #2

Another ten articles have been posted, so it's time for another favorite article check.  You know what to do.  Feel free to look back at the other posts before you vote (duh!)!

Tags: Favorite Article

Video Gamers

One of my biggest pet peaves is against video game addicts.  They bug me so much!  They have absolutely no lives outside of them, and it just makes me want to slap them across the face and go, "WAKE UP!"

What you are about to read is a true story from my cousin's work as a cashier in an E.B. Games store:

The day had been going normally, and I was waiting for a teen guy, no younger than an 8th Grader, to make his selection when he finally chose and approached the register with a wad of bills in hand.  "How much is this", he asked.  I took the game into my hand and quickly located the price tag and barcode on the back which clearly read $36.00.  I flipped it back over to the front and saw a sticker at the top-left corner which indicated 50% off.  So I asked him, "Well, it's $36 and it's 50% off, so how much would that be?".  His eyes glazed over and I could tell something wasn't clicking, so I tried again, "It's $36 and 1/2 off."  He continued to stare.  I feebly attempted, "OK... what's 36 divided by 2?"  He started a stuttering response, "Uhhh... sixteen... wait... uhh... no... uhh.... uhhh...."  "Come on!  I know you can do this" I sorrily encouraged.  At that precise moment my manager chose to appear and tell me off for not giving him a straight answer, which the manager himself had to stumble with!  "Nineteen... no!  Eighteen... it's $18!"

Wow.  That's pretty extreme, but seriously... I have issues with video gamers.

Oh, and again - if you vote "other", you have to say which!  =)

Tags: Life

Washington - What You Didn't Know

I was reading 1776 today and I found out some interesting things that I hadn't known about George Washington before.  Believe it or not:

~ His entire estate was 54,000 acres!  Dang!

~ He was rumored to be the richest man in all of the colonies after marrying a rich (in money and land) widow, but in reality probably wasn't in the top ten.

~ He also had such an astounding love of architecture that whenever his army would make camp, he'd wander the surrounding area for a beautiful English manor that had been abandonned by its loyalist owners.  According to the book, he especially preferred river-front views.

~ He had was passionate about parties, and used to host them so often and so large, that he had to expand his dining room up to the second floor, even though it was already larger than most dining rooms of modern times!  His library was also renown for being very extensive.

~ He was so into building that he was almost always adding on to his home.

~ He liked hunting so much that when he decided to chase an animal, he would sometimes spend over six hours in pursuit of it!  That's stamina!

~ He owned over 100 slaves!  Even though he was a fighter for freedom, like many other leaders, that wasn't uncommon to still own slaves.

I just thought it was kind of interesting!!  I had known he was wealthy, but not like that!=)

Tags: Life, History

The Lost Colony of Roanoke

We were discussing Roanoke (sweet looking map of the island below) in history today, and I wanted to share a humorous Roanoke theory with you.  However, if you aren't familiar with Roanoke, it was the first English colony established by the English in the Americas, but it's location is a mystery to this day (hence, "The Lost Colony...").  It was founded by Sir Walter Raleigh who was rumored to be the queen's lover, but anyway, it's thought to have been on an island just off the coast of North Carolina.  Well some time when by in Roanoke, and supplies were needed, so John White, governor of Roanoke, sailed back to England promising to return as quickly as possible with some new goodies.  Well unfortunately for him and the rest of the colony, the year he sailed to the mother country, they were preparing for the forelorn naval war with the most dreaded fleet that ever sailed the Seven Seas.  So pretty much any boat that could float with absconded into the British Navy, and to Mr. White, there was no exception.  Long story short - he didn't return to Roanoke for three years.  And when he did there was no sign of settlers ever having been there.  All he found were the letters "CRO" carved into a tree and the word "Croatoan" inscribed on the post of a palisade.  Even the colonists' houses were gone!

Disease, hurricane, running off with Native Americans - there are countless of theories as to what happened to the "lost colony".

Disease is a pretty believable reason - if we gave it to the natives, wouldn't there be a pleasant germ awaiting us as well?  You'd think that that would've left some bodies, or houses, though.

I've never heard of the possibility of a hurricane until today, but I'd guess that'd explain what happened to the houses and the people.  The palisade was still standing, however.

Scurrying off with Native Americans is a likely possibility.  The word "Croatoan" (modern spelling is usually "Croatan") is the name of a friendly Native American tribe.  It's a possibility they mosied off this tribe during of time of little food.  The Croatan tribe have had English names, suspiciously enough, so that reinforces this theory.  So I guess it's possible they might've gotten tired of hanging around waiting, so they got together with the natives.

Native American attacks could've been the fate of the islanders as well.  This one's pretty self-explanatory - they attack, possibly provoked, burn the houses, and kill and bury the people - end of story.

Well one humorous joke some of my friends and I have come up with relates to the "CRO" insription.

Something, whatever it was, scared the heck out of the Roanokians (?), and one was in the process of carving "crap" into a tree, but was killed before he could finish it.  He never got to the stick (attached to the "o") or the "p".  Ha, ha...  I know - a real knee-slapper...

Anyways (on a more sober note), there is recent evidence that the colonists may have been on the island during the worst drought that America had seen for 800 years, according to the rings of of some nearby cypress trees.  It just occurred to me that how is it possible to test the trees of Roanoke if they don't even know where the colony actually was today?  Must've one great big drought to sweep over all the state!  Although, where'd the bodies and houses go?

Tags: Life, History

Gilgamesh

I just finished Gilgamesh!  It was awesome!  It had some great morals!  Like in the end Gilgamesh loses his chance at immortality, and is kind of resolved about it.  He's much more humbled and realizes that his entire life has been fortunate until he takes his friend Enkidu for granted and loses the one thing that truly made him happy - friendship.  It was really good, so even if your not into this kind of book, I'd really suggest it if you wanted a good, quick read.

Also I wanted to apologize again, because when I was trying to recall a summary of the book in an earlier post I accidentally said Enkidu died when he fell into the chasm, but he does survive that is later killed when the gods decide to strike him down after a series of sins by Gilgamesh.

The epic really made me think about how lucky I am to have such great friends with me.  And also that you have to be careful about forgetting to be grateful for, because sometimes you may losing your greatest treasure without even realizing it until it's gone!  Don't forget your friends!  =]

My next book is 1776 by David McCullough.  I was considering reading another epic, but I think I need to let this one settle in for awhile.

The picture below is of Gilgamesh and Enkidu slaying the Bull of Heaven, a massive beast that caused earthquakes from its snorts.  Together, they could defeat whatever demons were put in their path.

Bible Code?

One of the things I've always been most skeptical about were the so-called "Bible Codes".  Again and again, important historical events would appear, not just concerning Israel, but also of mankind as a whole.  The date Neil Armstrong landed on the moon appears next to "Man on moon", "spaceship", and even "Apollo 11."  A search using the cipher for "Hitler" turned out "evil man", "Nazi and enemy", and "slaughter."  "Eichmann" proved to be encoded with "Zyklon B", which if you don't know, was the gas used in concentration camps.

Also chilling is the adjacent appearance of "atomic weapon", and "World War" of "Jerusalem". 

There was a warning to humanity was uncovered in association to earthquakes in 2014 and 2113, "Desolated, Empty, Depopulated" and "For Everyone, the Great Terror: Fire, Earthquake."

Although these and many other examples are all these seemingly amazing occurences, there are many mathematicians out there who still refute the Bible Code, and one in particular tested it the same cipher on a copy of Moby Dick and got the same results.

2006 also came up repeatedly for "The End of Days", with a comet, a world-shaking earthquake, and an atomic holocaust.  But if your still around to read this, apparently it didn't work.  A code that is wrong, is no code at all.

All the same, perhaps the Bible Code does contain some truth.  We'd all seem like real idiots if we didn't check it out for some things, and then have to suffer for it later.  It is however it's unquestionable that the code is manipulable.

Tags: Life, Bible, Religion, History

Earth-Shattering Event

Believe it or not - I set down The Histories and picked up a new book!  This is only the third time this has happened.  I pretty much never drop books once I start them, so this is huge for me.  I've started reading Gilgamesh, which is an awesome book!  It's a Babylonain epic about a king of Uruk named none other than Gilgamesh (below).  He was a 2/3 divine, all-gifted, arrogant tyrant, and when the people of the city pray to the gods, they create Enkidu who was as equally supreme as Gigamesh to try to put balance to the city.  So they rumble and Gilgamesh wins, but they immediately become friends and set off on many quests together to defeat monsters from the Netherworlds and whatnot.  Well eventually Gilgamesh offends Ishtar, the love goddess, when he rejects her advances, and so she talks to her papa who is the chief of the gods, Anu, and gets his to put a fissure through Uruk that swallows up Enkidu.  Gilgamesh who is thrown into sharp reality of death pursues Utnapishtim (heard the name before?) to try to learn the secrets of immortality from him, but is killed in the journey.

It's a great story.  I'm really happy about the choice though.  The Histories had gotten stale, and so I needed something more exciting.  I've only read summaries of the story until now, and so I finally get to read the script!  That's pretty exciting for me!  =)

Oh, and did you get the connection with Utnapishtim?  He was the Babylonian Noah!  The Gilgamesh texts is actually what also told the Mesopotamian flood story.  Utnapishtim was given the gift of everlasting life by the gods.  Coincidentally, that's what Gilgamesh desires, and so he goes in search of the man.

Tags: Life, Books, History

Cortez and Queztlcoatl

Did the Aztecs really think the Spanish were gods?

In grade school, that was the story.  The primitive Aztecs wonder at the Spanish sophistication and their white colored skin.  Apparently there was a legend about the god Queztlcoatl (below) that when the Aztec civilization began, the Caucasian god sailed away in a raft, or large canoe according to some versions.  The day he returned would mark the end of their civilization, or again in other cases, to rule the people as he once did before he was exiled.

Well white-skinned people came back and the Aztecs, and sure enough, the empire fell, but did this story correspond with thoughts of the Aztecs?  This is one of history’s mysteries, and perhaps we’ll never know, but Seven Myths of Spanish Conquest by Restall and Elliot did some down talking on the myth.

But before I get into their book, when we review the writings of Cortez and of later Aztec accounts, there is nothing that confirms the Aztecs ever thought the Europeans to be gods.  And, according to Restall and Elliot’s book, the conquistadors probably made up the stories to amuse the Spanish royalty – much in the way Herodotus did in The Histories.

Another theory I read about the story was that it was based on the exile of one god-king named Queztlcoatl (names were often borrowed by royalty from their gods) who was exiled from Tula in the 10th Century.

But whether or not the Aztecs thought that Cortez was the returning Queztlcoatl, it’s certainly not what ultimately destroyed the Aztec empire.

Tags: Life, History

It's In My Blood

Awhile ago I was researching my family history for Green's class and our family timeline.  Well, I have this great book called The Hirschy Genealogy, so it makes finding cool family stuff really easy.  It goes all the way back to my great-great-great-great-grandfather, so it includes over 5,400 descendents, which I'm a part of (see, I'm not even out of middle school and they are already writing books about me!).

So I was reading about the Burckhardt family for awhile and then hopped on my computer to do a 3D tour of Abu Simbel on Encarta, which is a completely normal thing to do!  =)  Well I was doing some reading on it and a name showed up I recognized - Johann Ludwig Burckhardt!  After reading his entry I actually found out, he discovered the great temple (pictured below, top) and the temple to Hathor there.  He also was the first modern European to visit Petra (below, bottom), and probably the only non-Muslim ever allowed to openly visit Mecca (he had some sweet connections with the Viceroy of Egypt).  And sure enough he's my great-great-great-great-uncle.

I was really proud of this one, because I liked the Great Temple of Abu Simbel anyway before this!  It's one of my favorite ancient structures along with the Temple of the Great Jaguar.  It was built by Ramses II I believe, who shows up in some of my other entries if you recall.

So I entered Burckhardt into the encyclopedia and got one other different entry.  Jacob Burckhardt wrote The Civilization of the Renaissance in Italy, which completely reformed the idea of the Renaissance to the one we study today in history!  He was the first person to refer to Da Vinci as "the universal man".  So I looked him up in my handy reference and found out he's my cousin six times removed, which is like my great-great-great-great-grandfather's cousin I think.

So that kind of inspired me to keep studying history.  A little cool too I thought.

Oh, and in Spell Bowl today we got the word "beachhead".  Double "h"s - what kind of idiot would make a word like that?  Our top three spellers all missed it.  Ha, ha...

 

If you haven't caught on, the polls usually only include the options we've explicitly talked about; if you select "other", you have to comment which one!  =)

Tags: Life, History

Teachers

I just wanted to say how thankful I was to have relatable teachers.  I mean teachers who can be knowledgeable, but still fun.  Those teachers are the best.

I had this great math teacher last year that we played so many pranks on.  One time in the morning before school and before he'd gotten to his class we took packaging tape and sealed up his door.

Another time we told him that tomorrow we'd have a party in his class.  He didn't take us seriously, and so the next day I told him my locker was jammed and gave him the wrong combo when he tried to open it.  He went back to his room to call the janitor, but in that time we'd decorated the room and brought out cookies and chips.  It was pretty awesome.

We had this great history teacher last year, and we used to steal her basket of candy all the time and hide it from her.  It was hilarious.

Ya, last year rocked.  I always worry that this year, or any other year for that matter, won't be as fun as last year.  But, oh well, maybe I'm just judging too soon.  We are almost 1/8 through the year though already.  Isn't that crazy?

So anyway, I just wanted to share how grateful I was to have such good teachers for at least one year, and hopefully many more to come!  =]

Tags: Life, School